(Content warning for one nsfw mention, in the 22nd entry)
Megan: "I need advice."
Logan: -eating cookie dough for breakfast- "You came to the right person."
Pippy: <You're everything I could ever want.>
Megan: "You must have depressingly low standards."
Vee: <I don't want to look "pretty." I want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening.>
Pippy: <Eat your dinner, Pollen.>
Pollen: <I'm full.>
Pollen: <Full of sadness.>
Addie: <Somehow we keep going against overpowered enemies over and over again.>
Deim: <So it's like we're stuck in a loop?>
Phoebe: <You can say that again!>
Deim: <So it's like we're stuck in a loop?>
Phoebe: <You can say that again!>
Deim: <So it's like we're stuck in a loop?>
Phoebe: <You can say that again!>
Addie: <I will kill both of you with my bare hands.>
Pippy: -eating a cinnamon roll-
Vee: <Cannibalism.>
Pippy: -confused chewing noise-
Darrin: "I poisoned one of our glasses"
Darrin: "But I forgot which one"
Henri: "The way this dinner's going, I hope it's mine."
Zippy: <How much attention do you need?>
Logan: "All of it."
Logan: "What motivates you?"
Luxor: <I suppose it's a mix of spite, pettiness, my inferiority complex, and pure relentless rage.>
Pippy: <I love you.>
Megan: "Don't do that to yourself."
Mane: <You're late.>
Logan: "You're beautiful."
Mane: <...you're forgiven.>
Megan: "I might not be the smartest, or strongest, or best for you..."
Vee: <But?>
Megan: "No, that's it."
Saitama: <So you’re just going to forgive me?>
Vee: <Well either that, or I wait until you’re lulled into a false sense of security, maybe days, maybe months, and then when you least expect it, exact my revenge.>
Pippy: <Megan?>
Megan: "Yes?"
Pippy: <Can someone breathe in a washing machine while it's on?>
Megan: "...WHERE'S VEE?!"
Abilene: "If there are trees, you're not alone."
Darren: "Was that supposed to be encouragement or an ominous warning?"
Mezzo: “If someone points at your black clothes and asks you whose funeral it is, a look around the room and a casual ‘haven’t decided yet’ is always a good response.”
Megan: "Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason."
Megan: "Me too."
Pollen: <You shouldn't be using a straw.>
Pippy: <I know, I know, it's bad for the environment.>
Pollen: <No, it's just a weird way to eat spaghetti.>
Vee: <Of course i’m familiar with the 7 deadly sins. The munches, super pissed, naps, thinking you’re hot shit, thinking your friend is hot shit and being mad about it, capitalism, and big sexy.>
Pippy: <We all have our demons.>
Pippy: -grabs Vee's tail- <And this one is mine.>
Megan: -texting- "If I gave an apple tree apple juice, would it be cannibalism on the apple tree's part?"
Abilene: "Lose my number."
Lucius: "We might as well ruin our friendship by having sex because our friendship isn't that great."
Vilkas: "Ryklys, please, no one knows we're dating."
Ever: -walking by- "Yes, we do."
Abilene: “My relationship with my brother is always either ‘i’ll help you hide the body’ or ‘do not breathe in my direction’, there is no in-between.”
Pollen: <Sometimes brb stands for "be ready bitch" so be careful.>
Mason: "Why is Kai on the ground?"
Vierr: "They're a little overwhelmed."
Mason: "Why?"
Vierr: "Brie smiled at them."
PEFE!Every: "Tagg, I cant sleep, I’m afraid of Frankenstein."
Tagg: "Don’t you mean Frankenstein’s monster?"
PEFE!Every: "I do not. Personally I find unethical and irresponsible scientific practice far more terrifying than any physical being and so should you."
Abilene: "How are you so calm all the time."
Logan: "The trick is to be so stressed out it becomes your default state of mind."
Dune: "Don't introduce me to poor traumatized children and then not let me adopt them."
Pollen: <I'm not good with apologies, so...unfuck you, or whatever.>
Maul: ~People think Pokémon exist to fix things and make life easier.~
Lucius: "Don't they?"
Maul: ~I've never made anyone's life easier and you know it.~
J-Team: "Ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened?"
Vee: <If you apply violence and it doesn’t solve your problem, you aren’t applying enough violence.>
Zippy: <Are you this rude to everyone?>
Luxor: <Yeah, don't think you're anything special.>
Kai: "To kill a vampire, you have to stab them through the heart with a wooden stake."
Lina: "As an expert on stabbing, I have to say that would kill just about anyone."
Crewe: "You can always win an argument if you say shut up, nerd."
Lucius: "That's not true."
Crewe: "Shut up, nerd."
J-Team again: "What doesn't kill you fucks you up mentally."
Izaya ♠ Paula: "Pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell."
Rose: "What do you have?"
Nana: "A knife!"
Rose: ”NO"
Silas: "Oh gods, why does she have a knife"
Ever: -petting Glimmer- "Please cure my depression."
Glimmer: -sizzle-
Ever: "Thanks."
Thespi: <It's very important that I am both cute and powerful.>
Logan: "You can't murder people for being ignorant and obnoxious!"
Abilene: "Maybe you can't."
Solana: "What are all these dead bodies doing here?!"
Salvador: -nudging one with his foot- "Honestly, not much."
Thespi: <Am I dramatic? Yes. Is it justified? Also yes.>
Henri: "Three! I repeat, three! Fucking months!"
Abilene: "What do you mean?"
Henri: "That's how long you stood by and watched me watering a fake plant!"
Tagg, who knows the answer but wants to see: "What does ‘take out’ mean?"
Channah: "Food."
Maggie: "Dating."
Solana: "Murder."
Echo: "It can be all three if you’re bold enough."
J-Team, one more time: "Healthy relationships with fathers? Sounds fake."
PEFE!Every: "Look inside yourself. What do you see? You should at least have a few lungs."
Megan: "...a few."
PEFE!Every: "Give or take."
Vee: <Honestly, I’m ready to fight 24/7. Even in death, take my ashes and throw them into the eyes of my enemies.>
Denali: "Hey guys, you want a tarot reading?"
Arthur: "These are Pokémon cards."
Denali: "You get a Bidoof, it means "fuck you.""
Des: "My demons are chasing me and they are doing the Naruto run."
Ever: "We're a family. Families talk about things."
Lucius: "No, families ignore things until they go away."
Ceal: <Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life.>
Pippy: <It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back.>
Pollen: <My will to live! I haven’t seen this in 15 years!>
Megan: "I knew I lost that potential somewhere."
Vee: <Auric stability! My old friend!>
Ceal: <G-guys, c-could you lighten up a little?
Vulpecula: "I am the strongest, most feared hero ever. Every villain fears me."
Phantom: "Is your hand stuck in the vending machine?"
Vulpecula: "I paid for my doritos, I'm getting my doritos."
Lucille: "Do you ever see your sibling and just have this overwhelming urge to smack them for no reason? like Leonard will just walk into the room and I’m like, “oh man, i guess i have to end you.”"
Cleo: "The Cain instinct."
Leonard: "Don’t encourage her."
Echo: "I may be short but you're still beneath me."
Darrin: -bursts into a room and locks the door-
Henri: "What did you do?"
Darrin: "Nobody died!"
Henri: "What kind of an answer is that?!"
DS: "Did it hurt when you hit your head crawling out of hell?"
Cyrus: "Yes."
Jackal: "I think we're missing something."
Gaia: "Cohesion? Teamwork? A general sense of what we're doing?"
Brie: "I am very cute and nice but will destroy you if that's what needs to happen."
Lucius: "Okay, okay, I lost my cool for a second."
Kai: -snort- "You can't lose what you never had."
Selene: <I'm gonna kill them with kindness!>
Satele: <And I'm gonna kill them with murder.>
PEFE!Every: "So how did they die?"
Brie: "Natural causes."
Amanita: "You pushed them off the fucking roof."
Brie: "Gravity is natural."
Forte: "The fact that I'm considered an adult is both terrifying and hilarious."
Thespi: <If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out the window.>
Possessed?Tripod: <We're on the ground floor.>
Thespi: <I know, but I want a dramatic exit.>