1 (edited by JG-says-things-and-stuff 2019-09-04 14:23:40)

Topic: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

Incorrect quotes, as we know, are applying lines of dialogue derived from other narratives (be it series, movies, online videos, or Tumblr text posts). As we also know, WAAPT works in such a way that, eventually, our players often end up just skipping the middleman and outright making a whole quote reference in the RP itself, and boy howdy are there plenty.

So why this thread, then?

1.) Sure, the tone of the RP lends itself well to these becoming canonical references (Arceus, I've been doing a ton of them), but it's easier (and just as fun) to do a sandbox version of incorrect quotes.

2.) It's generally a lot faster to dish out dialogues involving multiple characters (including those that don't belong to us) in a dedicated incorrect quotes sandbox.

3.) Some incorrect quotes hinge their funny on "out-of-character but not quite" moment that do not readily fit in the RP canonically, but are somehow in line with the character.

Lucius: Ever's gone, so while they're out I'm going to cut the sleeves off of all my shirts.
Kai: Why?
Lucius: They're pretty much 85% of my impulse control.

(Source: totallyfubar.tumblr.com)

4.) Some quotes get their funny by applying it to the last character you'd expect.

Silas: Mr. Petersen? I don't feel so good.

(Source: Avengers: Infinity War)

5.) Multiple quotes can be said by multiple persons, but see below.

--

THE RULES

1. ) Always quote in good faith. Do not, under any circumstances, use an incorrect quote to snipe passive-aggressively at someone. I will leave it up to the mods to dispense with the appropriate penalties. Grandfather clause applies to the examples below, but moving forward, incorrect quotes attributed to a character should ideally be done with their tacit approval, or at least congruent to a type of humor they typically find acceptable.

1a.) If you've made an incorrect quote before elsewhere prior to this thread being created, and the recipient responded to it positively, that counts as approval.

1b.) ADDENDUM: Although permissions are not 100% required for characters, they still must correspond to the known preferences of the person. If you know a person has a pet peeve (toilet humor, etc.), do not tie it to their characters, don't do it unless they tell you it's okay otherwise. When in doubt, ask permission.

1c.) I do not need to explain why overtly racist, sexist, homphobic/transphobic, or otherwise discriminatory humor is not allowed by default.

2.) You are encouraged to spag these with others and their characters. They're fun.

3.) Politics restrictions as applied to the RP apply here. If you really want to get heavy handed and quote something heavy-handedly political use a villainous character, preferably one you have the permission to use. Use only fictional examples here.

4.) Always cite where you derived your quotes and quote them accurately/verbatim, give or take a few ways to Pokémonicize/WAAPTify them and condense them as needed.

Arthur: Macraumelot!
Merlin: Macraumelot!
Lancelot: Macraumelot!
Guiscard: Macraumelot!
Solaire: Macraumelot!
Charolette: It's only a model.

(One song and dance number later.)

Arthur: On second thought, lets not go to Macraumelot. 'Tis a silly place

(Source: Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

5.) It's okay to repeat a couple of quotes every once in a while, but don't spam the entire thread with the same quote from Brooklyn 99 in rapid succession. A conservative estimate would be to wait at least two page's worth of incorrect quotes before repeating one.

6.) We have teenagers here. Keep it PG-13.

7.) Feel free to incorporate the quotes from here into the RP itself.

2

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

(Upon seeing Beowulf beat Ace in a sparring match by using Thunder Pummeling)

Jessica: You know what I'd call that victory?
Shaun: Shocking?
Jessica: No, well-earned. What you said is stupid.

-RWBY, Volume 2, Episode 2

3 (edited by Herbert40k 2019-09-04 04:13:15)

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

Content warning ahead of time: slightly NSFW!


Delilah: "You know, I raised two fully functional children."
Lucius: "You have two children that I don't know about?"


Ever: "I just want someone to take me out."
Lucius: "With a date or with a sniper?"
Ever: "Surprise me."


Kai: "The point is, we need to break in."
Mason: "But that's illegal."
Kai: "..."
Mason: "I'm fucking with you. I'm in."
Kahlia: "I'm in too. I heard the word 'illegal'."


Lucius: "I'm not totally useless. I can always be used as a bad example."


Ever: -grabs Lucius's hand- "No... we're back on our bullshit."


Ever: "Can we talk about fish?"
Lucius: "Of course we can."
Ever: "They think they're better than me."
Lucius: "..."
Lucius: "How dare they."


Tara: "I've been dropping her the most insanely obvious hints for, like, years now. No response."
Dani: "Wow, she sounds stupid."
Tara: "But she's not. She's really sharp, actually. She's just... oblivious."
Dani: "Maybe you just need to be more obvious? Like, I dunno... 'hey, I love you!'"
Tara: "I guess that makes sense."
Tara: -sighs-
Tara: "Hey, Dani, I love you."
Dani: "See! Just say that!"
Tara: "..."
Tara: "Holy fucking shit."
Dani: "If that flies over her head, then I'm sorry, Tara, but she's just too dumb for you."


Ever: -looking at Lucius- "Ugh, I can't believe I'm gonna sleep with him!"
Brie: "...You don't have to."
Ever: "No, I'm gonna."


PEFE!Every: "I may not be beautiful, but at least I know a lot of useless information."


Kahlia: "You're yelling? At ME? The one person who has never done anything wrong, ever?"


Ever: "An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough."
Ever: -throws an apple at Shaun-
Ever: "See? Case in point."


Ever: "Don't worry. I have a permit."
Brie: "...This just says 'I do what I want'."
Ever: "Yes."


Alice: "You're pouting."
Lissa: "I'm not pouting. I'm brooding, which is how sexy people pout."


Ever: -coughs up blood but in a sexy way- "hey"


Umbra: "I would never say 'my wife is a bitch and I don't like her'. My wife is a bitch and I like her so much."


Ever: "Sometimes, Brie will ask me, 'What do you think you're doing?' But that just means 'stop'. She doesn't actually want to know my thought process."

4 (edited by JG-says-things-and-stuff 2019-09-05 05:15:27)

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

(Upon Carmilla's defeat.)

Jackal:  I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life.
Rogue: I mean, I've fought a bunch of villains for you.
Jackal: And yet crime has continued.

Source: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Tenembaum: You know what? We're just looking to eliminate waste.
Priscilla: I assure you, you'll find zero waste here.
Tenembaum: Really? Because I did notice during my preliminary examination that you recently purchased a $21,000 copy machine?
Priscilla: Well, that machine saves money in terms of man-hours. Uh, if you excuse me, Mr. Tenembaum, we need to go to the BRB. It's BRB time. We're BRB-ing.

Source: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jackal: Aurabolts... Assemble!Assemble!ASSEMBLE!
Gaia: Relax, Jackal, we're right here.
Rogue: You're blocking Netflix.
Jackal: No more NETFLIX!

(Jackal chucks the TV out of the Oblivion Wing.)

Source: Dexter's Laboratory

Drake: <But I'm nothing without dynamaxing!>
Tommy: If you're nothing without dynamaxing then you shouldn't have it.

(Awkward, fourth-wall-breaking silence)

Source: Spider-Man: Homecoming

5

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

Mezzo: Do you know what you're doing?
Fortis: Why should that stop me?

Source: 8-bit Theater

6 (edited by JG-says-things-and-stuff 2019-09-05 05:15:10)

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

Pefery: Vera, you do not yet realize your importance. You've only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict, and bring order to the regions!

(Vera winces.)

Vera: I'll never join you!
Pefery: If only you knew the power of mad science. Harlock never told you what happened to your mother.
Vera: He told me enough. He told me you killed her.
Pefery: No. I am your mother.
Vera, in defiance of all logic: No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!
Pefery: Search your feelings; you know it to be true!

(Insert drama here.)

Vera: NOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!
Pefery: Vera, you can defeat the Director. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together, we can rule the multiverse as mother and daughter!

Source: Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

7

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

(Content warning for one nsfw mention, in the 22nd entry)

Megan: "I need advice."
Logan: -eating cookie dough for breakfast- "You came to the right person."


Pippy: <You're everything I could ever want.>
Megan: "You must have depressingly low standards."


Vee: <I don't want to look "pretty." I want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening.>


Pippy: <Eat your dinner, Pollen.>
Pollen: <I'm full.>
Pollen: <Full of sadness.>


Addie: <Somehow we keep going against overpowered enemies over and over again.>
Deim: <So it's like we're stuck in a loop?>
Phoebe: <You can say that again!>
Deim: <So it's like we're stuck in a loop?>
Phoebe: <You can say that again!>
Deim: <So it's like we're stuck in a loop?>
Phoebe: <You can say that again!>
Addie: <I will kill both of you with my bare hands.>


Pippy: -eating a cinnamon roll-
Vee: <Cannibalism.>
Pippy: -confused chewing noise-


Darrin: "I poisoned one of our glasses"
Darrin: "But I forgot which one"
Henri: "The way this dinner's going, I hope it's mine."


Zippy: <How much attention do you need?>
Logan: "All of it."


Logan: "What motivates you?"
Luxor: <I suppose it's a mix of spite, pettiness, my inferiority complex, and pure relentless rage.>


Pippy: <I love you.>
Megan: "Don't do that to yourself."


Mane: <You're late.>
Logan: "You're beautiful."
Mane: <...you're forgiven.>


Megan: "I might not be the smartest, or strongest, or best for you..."
Vee: <But?>
Megan: "No, that's it."


Saitama: <So you’re just going to forgive me?>
Vee: <Well either that, or I wait until you’re lulled into a false sense of security, maybe days, maybe months, and then when you least expect it, exact my revenge.>


Pippy: <Megan?>
Megan: "Yes?"
Pippy: <Can someone breathe in a washing machine while it's on?>
Megan: "...WHERE'S VEE?!"


Abilene: "If there are trees, you're not alone."
Darren: "Was that supposed to be encouragement or an ominous warning?"


Mezzo: “If someone points at your black clothes and asks you whose funeral it is, a look around the room and a casual ‘haven’t decided yet’ is always a good response.”


Megan: "Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason."
Megan: "Me too."


Pollen: <You shouldn't be using a straw.>
Pippy: <I know, I know, it's bad for the environment.>
Pollen: <No, it's just a weird way to eat spaghetti.>


Vee: <Of course i’m familiar with the 7 deadly sins. The munches, super pissed, naps, thinking you’re hot shit, thinking your friend is hot shit and being mad about it, capitalism, and big sexy.>


Pippy: <We all have our demons.>
Pippy: -grabs Vee's tail- <And this one is mine.>


Megan: -texting- "If I gave an apple tree apple juice, would it be cannibalism on the apple tree's part?"
Abilene: "Lose my number."


Lucius: "We might as well ruin our friendship by having sex because our friendship isn't that great."


Vilkas: "Ryklys, please, no one knows we're dating."
Ever: -walking by- "Yes, we do."


Abilene: “My relationship with my brother is always either ‘i’ll help you hide the body’ or ‘do not breathe in my direction’, there is no in-between.”


Pollen: <Sometimes brb stands for "be ready bitch" so be careful.>


Mason: "Why is Kai on the ground?"
Vierr: "They're a little overwhelmed."
Mason: "Why?"
Vierr: "Brie smiled at them."


PEFE!Every: "Tagg, I cant sleep, I’m afraid of Frankenstein."
Tagg: "Don’t you mean Frankenstein’s monster?"
PEFE!Every: "I do not. Personally I find unethical and irresponsible scientific practice far more terrifying than any physical being and so should you."


Abilene: "How are you so calm all the time."
Logan: "The trick is to be so stressed out it becomes your default state of mind."


Dune: "Don't introduce me to poor traumatized children and then not let me adopt them."


Pollen: <I'm not good with apologies, so...unfuck you, or whatever.>


Maul: ~People think Pokémon exist to fix things and make life easier.~
Lucius: "Don't they?"
Maul: ~I've never made anyone's life easier and you know it.~


J-Team: "Ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened?"


Vee: <If you apply violence and it doesn’t solve your problem, you aren’t applying enough violence.>


Zippy: <Are you this rude to everyone?>
Luxor: <Yeah, don't think you're anything special.>


Kai: "To kill a vampire, you have to stab them through the heart with a wooden stake."
Lina: "As an expert on stabbing, I have to say that would kill just about anyone."


Crewe: "You can always win an argument if you say shut up, nerd."
Lucius: "That's not true."
Crewe: "Shut up, nerd."


J-Team again: "What doesn't kill you fucks you up mentally."


Izaya ♠ Paula: "Pleasing everyone is impossible but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell."


Rose: "What do you have?"
Nana: "A knife!"
Rose: ”NO"
Silas: "Oh gods, why does she have a knife"


Ever: -petting Glimmer- "Please cure my depression."
Glimmer: -sizzle-
Ever: "Thanks."


Thespi: <It's very important that I am both cute and powerful.>


Logan: "You can't murder people for being ignorant and obnoxious!"
Abilene: "Maybe you can't."


Solana: "What are all these dead bodies doing here?!"
Salvador: -nudging one with his foot- "Honestly, not much."


Thespi: <Am I dramatic? Yes. Is it justified? Also yes.>


Henri: "Three! I repeat, three! Fucking months!"
Abilene: "What do you mean?"
Henri: "That's how long you stood by and watched me watering a fake plant!"


Tagg, who knows the answer but wants to see: "What does ‘take out’ mean?"
Channah: "Food."
Maggie: "Dating."
Solana: "Murder."
Echo: "It can be all three if you’re bold enough."


J-Team, one more time: "Healthy relationships with fathers? Sounds fake."


PEFE!Every: "Look inside yourself. What do you see? You should at least have a few lungs."
Megan: "...a few."
PEFE!Every: "Give or take."


Vee: <Honestly, I’m ready to fight 24/7. Even in death, take my ashes and throw them into the eyes of my enemies.>


Denali: "Hey guys, you want a tarot reading?"
Arthur: "These are Pokémon cards."
Denali: "You get a Bidoof, it means "fuck you.""


Des: "My demons are chasing me and they are doing the Naruto run."


Ever: "We're a family. Families talk about things."
Lucius: "No, families ignore things until they go away."


Ceal: <Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life.>
Pippy: <It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back.>
Pollen: <My will to live! I haven’t seen this in 15 years!>
Megan: "I knew I lost that potential somewhere."
Vee: <Auric stability! My old friend!>
Ceal: <G-guys, c-could you lighten up a little?


Vulpecula: "I am the strongest, most feared hero ever. Every villain fears me."
Phantom: "Is your hand stuck in the vending machine?"
Vulpecula: "I paid for my doritos, I'm getting my doritos."


Lucille: "Do you ever see your sibling and just have this overwhelming urge to smack them for no reason? like Leonard will just walk into the room and I’m like, “oh man, i guess i have to end you.”"
Cleo: "The Cain instinct."
Leonard: "Don’t encourage her."


Echo: "I may be short but you're still beneath me."


Darrin: -bursts into a room and locks the door-
Henri: "What did you do?"
Darrin: "Nobody died!"
Henri: "What kind of an answer is that?!"


DS: "Did it hurt when you hit your head crawling out of hell?"
Cyrus: "Yes."


Jackal: "I think we're missing something."
Gaia: "Cohesion? Teamwork? A general sense of what we're doing?"


Brie: "I am very cute and nice but will destroy you if that's what needs to happen."


Lucius: "Okay, okay, I lost my cool for a second."
Kai: -snort- "You can't lose what you never had."


Selene: <I'm gonna kill them with kindness!>
Satele: <And I'm gonna kill them with murder.>


PEFE!Every: "So how did they die?"
Brie: "Natural causes."
Amanita: "You pushed them off the fucking roof."
Brie: "Gravity is natural."


Forte: "The fact that I'm considered an adult is both terrifying and hilarious."


Thespi: <If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out the window.>
Possessed?Tripod: <We're on the ground floor.>
Thespi: <I know, but I want a dramatic exit.>

8

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

Oshawittle: <This time, let's build a moat! I could be... THE KROOKODIIIIIIIIIIILE!!! Jazz hands.> -does jazz hands-

Mothra: <No...>

Oshawittle: <Why not?>

Piku-chan: <You always say you'll be the Krookodile, but you never commit.>

(Source: Steven Universe)

9

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

Pianis: But it's a castle made of ice! Ice is my life!

Source: Frozen

Forte: You've got to make a statement. You've got to look inside yourself and say: "What am I willing to put up with today?" NOT. FUCKING. THIS!

Source: Game Grumps

10 (edited by JG-says-things-and-stuff 2019-09-13 10:30:02)

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

(Dave had somehow defeated Dr. Multiman's plan to merge the universe with others after the latter had impersonated Santa. The grunts had believed him to actually be Santa.)

Dave: And would Santa have destructively merged our universe with many others!? You were so desperate for the real Santa that you believed a monster in a costume! That's not Christmas! Go home! Forget about this! And spend time with your families... er whatever.

Mobius Grunt: The robot boy is right!

Mobius Grunt: What fools we've been!

Dr. Multiman: Wait!

(The crowd looks over at the broken reality device, where Multiman, Izaya, and a deerling stand, all in psyduck costumes.)

Dr. Multiman: Will you listen to the evil robot boy who destroyed Santa, or will you listen to... the Easter Psyduck?

(Dr. Multiman begins throwing cooked claunchers from a basket into the crowd.)

Dr. Multiman:  Easter claunchers for all, if you tackle the cyborg who destroyed Santa!

Mobius Grunts: Easter Psyduck, we love you!

(Dave climbs down from his mech and sees all the Mobius grunts looking at him angrily.)

Dave: No! No! Wait!

(The grunts tackle Dave. Dave screams and mutters.)

Dr. Multiman: Well, my evil mission was a success.

Izaya: No it wasn't!

Dr. Multiman: Silence!

Source: Invader Zim

(Tommy and Gimbal watch a few videos while on assignment.)

Tommy, talking to a mirror: It is I, the Ghost Lord. Fear me!

Tommy: No, no no no, that's... that's definitely not what we want to watch.

Gimbal: Your impressions are very funny.

Source: Spider-Man: Homecoming

Alice, selling her ears to Giratina: Well, I do owe you for giving me this unholy acting talent!

Source: Futurama

(Cordell, Sgt. Jeff Sanchez's furret, has been turned into a princely dapper young human by Denali. Outside, is a ponyta and a gorgeous coach, which the diancie promptly turns into a bibarel harnessed to a large pumpkin.)

Cordell: Now, why did you turn a perfectly good ponyta and carriage into a bibarel and a pumpkin?

Denali: Because I am creative.

Source: I Am Weasel

Rogue: Just like Eddisburg all over again!

Gaia: You and I remember Eddisburg very differently.

Source: Avengers 1

Lillifuture Shutter: Since my son's skeleton was accidentally crushed by a paramedic in a freak mamoswine accident, I have created the new Mega-Emo 3000 fusion-powered titanium exoskeleton!

(Shutter lifts up a small model of the Mega-Emo 3000)

Lillifuture Shutter: It will give him the strength of ten thousand emo teens!

Source: Invader Zim

11 (edited by SwiftSeraph 2019-09-06 03:58:00)

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

RP!Tagg: Quick summary of contractualism. Uh, imagine a group of reasonable people are coming up with the rules for a new society.

PEFE!Every: Like if Ever talks to you, you should be allowed to stab them?

RP!Tagg: Sure, but anyone can veto any rule that they think is unfair. So if you said, "We should be able to break our promises without any repercussions," someone would veto that rule.

PEFE!Every: Well, my first rule would be that no one can veto my rules.

RP!Tagg: Well, that's called tyranny. And it's generally frowned upon.

(Source: The Good Place)

Lyra: Listen, I don't need the Lizzy who once had a panic attack during Rock-Paper-Scissors because there were, and I quote, "just too many variables." I need the Lizzy who pulled out a gun and shot the Team Iron members that attacked the ship without hesitation.

Elizabeth: Oh, boy, now I'm nervous about that decision.

Lyra: Retroactively? I mean, how do you even...?

Elizabeth: I don't know.

(Source: The Good Place)

Isbrand: So, Kaiiseii, just wanted to double check. How do Xerneists feel about murder?

Kaiiseii: It's frowned upon.

Isbrand: Okay. What if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? That's okay, right?

(Source: The Good Place)

Isbrand: You see, there’s no need to wonder where your god is! Because she’s right here!

-Isbrand's Eyecatch appears as she draws a sword.-

Isbrand: And she’s fresh out of mercy.

(Source: SAO Abridged)

Elizabeth: What? People actually tell their crushes they love them?

Jessica: What do YOU do?

Elizabeth: I die? What kind of question-

(Source: tumblr)

Lucius: Why is there a pancake in the silverwear drawer?

Levi: I think you mean “why is there silverwear in the pancake drawer?”

Kai: The process is simple. Just walk up to Mason, and place your hand on the wall behind him.

Shaun: G-got it! Okay, here goes nothing!

Mason: I'm ready, Shaun! Come on!

-Shaun pins Mason to the wall.-

Mason: Ooooooh...

Shaun: Cool it with the noises!

Kai: Shaun! Next you whisper something sexy in his ear to ignite the flame in his heart!

Shaun: ...

Shaun: Give me all your money.

(Source: Yakuza 6)

Brie: Are you SUGARING your burrito?

Ever: Food is anarchy, dude. Live by your own rules.

Source: Star Vs.

Alice: Well, you look how I feel.

Lissa: ...Gay?

12 (edited by JG-says-things-and-stuff 2019-09-06 20:34:38)

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

CW: Profanity

Jonathan: Fine, I'll admit it. I still can't swim. I never took those lessons at the community pool.
Priscilla: Jon, you promised.
Jonathan: They wanted to put me in the beginner's class with the little kids. I can't be swimming around with a bunch of five-year-olds! They can be so cruel when they sense weakness.
Shutter: That's why on the first day, you have to beat up the biggest kid in the yard.
Tommy: Gavin, that's prison.
Shutter: Only if you let it be.

Source: Sonic Boom

(Jackal and Phantom were chilling in the Oblivion Wing for some reason when suddenly an ominous figure takes control of the computer system and its big monitor.)

Jackal: Someone's hacking into the system⁠—David Macraul?!
David Macraul: Where's my Arceusdamn money?
Phantom: No one here owes you money, you drunk, crazy asshole. Victor Helstrand isn't even in the Aurabolts, so stop calling here.

(Phantom hangs up.)

David Macraul: Wait... Victor's not with the Aurabolts? That lying fuck.

Source: Moon Knight/Dracula meme

(Dr. Braun takes control of the FuturePalkia.)

Dr. Braun: You're too late, Aurabolts. You'll never stop me now!

(Jackal heroically poses.)

Jackal: That's where you're wrong evil-doer. We will stop you with the powers of:
Vulpecula: Friendship!
Fox: Harmony!
Baba Yaga: Incredible violence.
Gaia: And love!

Dr. Braun, mortified: Ah, I, uh, I see you got a new member... A...Aurabolts. P-prepare for battle.

(In an Orrean shawarma shop.)

Jackal: Wow guys, we're doing amazing lately!!

Source: Owl Turd Comix

(The J-Team has defeated another group of anonymous grunt from some unidentifed Team Badguy.)

RP!Umbra: What do these guys want, anyway?
RP!Tagg: To take over the world... Or rob banks. I forget.

Source: Justice League Unlimited

13

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

CW: Again, numbers 1, 3, 4 and 5 are kinda-sorta NSFW.


Ever: -lying sensually on the bed wearing a banana costume-
Ever: "I find you quite aPEELing."
Lucius: "...Take me now"


Alice: "You left me a long, drunken voicemail last night."
Lissa: "I didn't say anything incriminating, did I?"
Alice: "As incriminating as that sentence? No."


Isbrand: "Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?"


Lissa: "I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in the last 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy."


Lucius: -to Liam- "Hey, you passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Brother of the year."


Aeroraptor: "You will pay for your insolence, hero. For when our dark plan comes to fruition, my very first act will be to, uh... hurrrrrt you. Hurrrrt you!"
Gaia: "What're you gonna do? Poke me in the ribs?"
Aeroraptor: "Oh, heavens no. I'm nefarious, not cruel."


Kahlia: -to Tara- "You can control white people by giving them cheese."
Tara: "..."
Dani: "Cheese is so good though!"
Kahlia: "I got one~"


Shun: -regarding Neo-Flare- "I don't care for these new Nazis and you may quote me on that."


Tokarev: "This is not a democracy. I have a gun, so I'm in charge. Many governments around the world function on the same principle, and some of them last for months."


Ever: "It's the same thing every time. You give people the benefit of the doubt, and they try and kill you."
Lucius: "...He murdered his entire civilisation."
Ever: "Hey, I gave you the benefit of the doubt, didn't I?"
Lucius: "Point."


Deziree: "They dropped in from nowhere! I should expect that, but at the same time, I can't expect that, because they're ninjas. As soon as I expect it, they won't do it! Ninjas understand quantum mechanics a lot better than people realise. That was a controversial part of my dissertation."


PEFE!Every: "Fuck you, reality. You're full of shit."


Megan: "Was that you knocking?"
Logan: "No, this is me rocking."

14 (edited by Umbramatic 2019-09-07 20:32:09)

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

Duolis: I'm afraid we lost them, dear.

Umbra: Damn it! Well, then you find them, and you get them back in the dungeon! And to make sure nobody else gets out, I want roving death squads around the perimeter 24-7! I want 10,000 tough guys, and I want 10,000 soft guys to make the tough guys look tougher! And here's how I want them arranged: tough, tough, soft, tough, soft, soft, tough, tough, soft, soft, tough, soft!

[pause]

Duolis: Dear, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power.

Umbra: Of course I have. Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring, no one listens to you.

ALTERNATIVELY

Reina: I'm afraid we lost them, my lady.

Gudrunn: Damn it! Well, then you find them, and you get them back in the dungeon! And to make sure nobody else gets out, I want roving death squads around the perimeter 24-7! I want 10,000 tough guys, and I want 10,000 soft guys to make the tough guys look tougher! And here's how I want them arranged: tough, tough, soft, tough, soft, soft, tough, tough, soft, soft, tough, soft!

[pause]

Reina: My lady, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power.

Gudrunn: Of course I have. Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring, no one listens to you.

(Source: The Simpsons Movie)

My girlfriend is a Volcarona, your argument is invalid.

15

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

Colton: -Legendary Facepalm- I'm surrounded by idiots...

(Source: The Lion King)

16 (edited by JG-says-things-and-stuff 2019-09-14 19:23:48)

Re: Incorrect WAAPT Quotes

CW: Abduction

(Arachna-Guy has recently defeated another one of Delta's drones.)

Arachna-Guy: Delta and that Henry guy are driving me nuts.

(He walks toward a mail box with a letter.)

Arachna-Guy: Man, this ought to keep them out of my hair tonight.

(The next morning, Henry receives a letter.)

Henry: An invitation to the prom?

(He grabs his phone.)

Henry: Delta, I need you to go on a hunt... for my date.

(Delta complies, grabbing a random woman off the streets in a potato sack. A few hours later, Henry arrives to the prom with Delta on tow.)

Henry: I am here for prom. Behold!

(Delta opens the sack.)

Henry: My date.
Random Woman: What the heck, man!
Random Bystander: Ohh, she looks...
Henry, pleased: Very nice!
Delta: She is best!
Random Woman, annoyed: Well, I would like to go home now.
Delta: No.
Henry: You may not go until tonight has been magical!
Random Woman: Oh, fine.

(They party. Meanwhile, Tommy Petersen is inexplicably sitting in a massage chair.)

Tommy: Awesome!

Source: Hark! A Vagrant

Gaia, clutching a picture of Dr. Tonio in her hands: I carry a picture of my nemesis to always fill me with justice.
Taipan: Aye, that makes sense.
Gaia: I take it to the bathroom and sleep with it on the other pillow by my face.

(Alice goes to bed with Dr. Tonio's mugshot while an even bigger picture with the words "Nemesis" is held atop the bed.)

Source: Hark! A Vagrant

Beck: Doctor, while you were out for your walk we received a phone call. I think you were supposed to help run a haunted house today.
RP!Tagg, aghast: THE HAUNTED HOUSE! I completely forgot about that!
Beck, reassuringly: It's all right! Researcher Memito said she'll do it.

(RP!Tagg sighs in relief, only to realize the name Beck mentioned.)

RP!Tagg, suddenly shouting: Every's doing the Haunted House?! YOU LET EVERY RUN THE HAUNTED HOUSE!?

(Smash cut to a haunted house with an ambulance crashed into it, ghost types amuck, and paramedics everywhere. Otherworldly screams of pain can be heard. Also, Yveltal is there. They hurt themselves somehow. Pef is talking to Officer Jenny.)

PEFery: Sorry about that.

(The ambulance explodes, setting the haunted house ablaze, Michael Bay-style.)

Source: Father Ted

And here's one that's an episode of the Aurabolts cartoon.

(Suddenly...)

Lucian: I, Lucian, the evil Obscuric Magician shall capture all the children and force them to do homework forever!

(Just then...)

(A Kalosian flag sparkles patriotically, revealing Jackal)

Some kid: Jackal of the Aurabolts!

(Jackal leers forward, ready to beat Lucian senseless.)

Jackal: You've asked for it!
Lucian A-a-a no violence in school
Jackal: Hmmm, you're right. But there is one way to stop you!

(Jackal reveals a three pack of Gio's Fruit Pies.)

Lucian: Ooooh, not Gio's Fruit Pies. The delicious treat you'd have to be crazy to hate! I give up.

(Later.)

Some kid: Thanks, Mr. Jackal sir.
Jackal, eating: Donf fank me fank Gio's fruff fies.
Some kid: What
Jackal: I faid donf fank... oh.

(Everyone laughs, fade to black.)

Source: Dexter's Laboratory

(Rotom!Jonathan, disguised in hard light as a cop, takes a handcuffed Dave and PC past a bunch of guards)

Rotom!Jon: I am taking them to imprison them... in prison.

Dave: He's taking us to--

(Jon thunderbolts Dave while making it look like a taser.)

Rotom!Jon: Quiet! And there's a fresh one if you mouth off again.

Source: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story