1 (edited by BittersweetNSour 2018-11-26 05:43:22)

Topic: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

"So, fuck-marry-kill, between Jacob, Lucius, and Ever?

Kai: Hoo boy. Okay. Let's see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Skye: Come on, really? I'm a lesbian, don't give me choices where two of them are guys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mason: Mrrrrr. Okay, here we go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kai: Alright so right off the bat we're killing Lucius. That much is easy.

FUCK: _____
MARRY: _____
KILL: Lucius


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diane: Killing Lucius. Sorry, man.

FUCK: _____
MARRY: _____
KILL: Lucius


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scarlette: Lucius is my best friend and I think it's for the best that I kill him before someone else does.

FUCK: _____
MARRY: _____
KILL: Lucius


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diane: Hm. Fuck Jacob, marry Ever?

FUCK: Jacob
MARRY: Ever
KILL: Lucius


Diane: Wait, no! I take that back. Jacob's a good husband, I'm marrying him.

FUCK: Ever
MARRY: Jacob
KILL: Lucius


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Skye: Fuck Ever, definitely. Is there an option to fuck and marry them, and just kill the other two?

No.

Skye: Oh, come on. Fine, okay, hm. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but marry Lucius. Jake's way too grumpy to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

FUCK: Ever
MARRY: Lucius
KILL: Jacob


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kai: Marry Ever because we're buds, and fuck Jacob because let's be real, he's the hottest out of the three of them anyway.

FUCK: Jacob
MARRY: Ever
KILL: Lucius


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Echo: Fuck Lucius. Marry Jacob. Kill Ever.

That was... quick.

FUCK: Lucius
MARRY: Jacob
KILL: Ever


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mason: Fuck Lucius. Fuck that guy, but also, fuck that guy. Marry... Ever, I guess, and kill Jacob. I don't even know Jacob, I've just heard about him and he seems like a smarmy prick.

FUCK: Lucius
MARRY: Ever
KILL: Jacob


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scarlette: I'm gonna marry Jacob, I feel like he'd treat me right. And I'll gladly fuck Ever. Who wouldn't?

FUCK: Ever
MARRY: Jacob
KILL: Lucius


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rose: I'm gonna fuck Jacob, I know that much.

FUCK: Jacob
MARRY: _____
KILL: _____


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vierr: Really? Come on, really?

Answer the question, please.

Vierr: Hmph. Okay. Hrm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alyssa: Okay, okay, let's see, let's see... I'm gonna want to marry Jacob. I guess. And sleep with Lucius? Oh, no, wait, that means I have to kill Ever... Okay, switch Ever and Lucius. I'm really sorry, I can't think of anything better.

FUCK: Ever
MARRY: Jacob
KILL: Lucius


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vierr: I guess... I don't know. Ever would probably thank me for killing them, but that leaves... all right, fuck it. Fuck Jacob, marry Lucius.

FUCK: Jacob
MARRY: Lucius
KILL: Ever


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rose: And then I guess marry Lucius and kill Ever. Kinda torn there, but whatever, I'm sticking with it.

FUCK: Jacob
MARRY: Lucius
KILL: Ever


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paula: Fuck Lucius, marry Lucius, kill Lucius. In that order. Fuck him, declare my undying love for him, we have a surprisingly pleasant wedding, and then he turns up dead in his bed the next morning and I'm out of town before you can say "gods, I wish that were me". It'll be great.

Uh, that's not how the game works.

Paula: Too late! Already decided. Answer's final.

But--

Paula: Shooooosh. Shoosh.

...

FUCK: Lucius
MARRY: Lucius
KILL: Lucius


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Final answers:

Kai:
FUCK: Jacob
MARRY: Ever
KILL: Lucius


Skye:
FUCK: Ever
MARRY: Lucius
KILL: Jacob


Diane:
FUCK: Ever
MARRY: Jacob
KILL: Lucius


Alyssa:
FUCK: Ever
MARRY: Jacob
KILL: Lucius


Vierr:
FUCK: Jacob
MARRY: Lucius
KILL: Ever


Echo:
FUCK: Lucius
MARRY: Jacob
KILL: Ever


Rose:
FUCK: Jacob
MARRY: Lucius
KILL: Ever


Scarlette:
FUCK: Ever
MARRY: Jacob
KILL: Lucius


Mason:
FUCK: Lucius
MARRY: Ever
KILL: Jacob


Paula:
FUCK: Lucius
MARRY: Lucius
KILL: Lucius


[Spectrum was here!]

2

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

"Round two. Fuck-marry-kill between Kai, Verax and Mason?"

Lucius: Really?

Alice: Why those three in particular?

The criteria called for two edgy dark-haired boys and a fae enby.

Shun: Those are strangely specific criteria.

Liam: I d-don't even know half these people...

Just answer the question, okay?


Lucius: Okay, first off I'm killing Verax. Don't even have to think about that one.

Lucius wrote:

Fuck: ---
Marry: ---
Kill: Verax

Lucius: After that, though... hm. This is tough. I'm pretty sure the other two would just kill me if given the chance.

Can you blame them?

Lucius: Fair. I... I guess I'd fuck Mason? He's pretty hot. Plus Kai and I have pretty much buried the hatchet, and I'm fairly sure they don't actively hate me, so I reckon we could make a loveless marriage work.

Lucius wrote:

Fuck: Mason
Marry: Kai
Kill: Verax

Wow. You have remarkably low standards.

Lucius: Story of my life.


Alice: Well, I have to say that I'd marry Kai.

Lucius: Not necessarily. You can just admit you're all about getting your bo-

Alice: As for the others, I would sleep with Mason and kill Verax. I think that seems reasonable.

Alice wrote:

Fuck: Mason
Marry: Kai
Kill: Verax

Lucius: Huh. Looks like we actually agree on something after all.

Alice: As much as I hate to admit it, I cannot criticise your taste. Especially when there is so much else I could be criticising.

Lucius: Why thank y- hey!


Shun: Kill Verax. As much as I am personally opposed to capital punishment, I imagine our ideals might... conflict.

Tara: That's putting it mildly.

Shun wrote:

Fuck: ---
Marry: ---
Kill: Verax

Shun: Then... I suppose I would marry Mason and sleep with Kai? I don't know, I can't honestly give an accurate answer about people I'm not familiar with.

Shun wrote:

Fuck: Kai
Marry: Mason
Kill: Verax

What about you two?

Tara: Nope. No way. I'm reading off a different cue card to you lot, if you get my drift.

Dani: That Verax guy is cute though...


Liam: Uh, do I really have to k-kill someone?

Yes. Well, no, not really, but for the sake of the game you have to.

Liam: O-okay... I, er, I guess I'd sleep with Kai? I mean, it'd be super awkward because they're my b-brother's ex, but at least it'd just be a o-one time thing, right?

Liam wrote:

Fuck: Kai
Marry: ---
Kill: ---

Liam: And then, um... kill Verax and m-marry Mason? I don't know either of them, but this Verax guy s-sounds like kind of a jerk, so... yeah. Erm, not that I'd kill anyone just for b-being a jerk, but, uh... can you turn the c-camera off now, please?

Liam wrote:

Fuck: Kai
Marry: Mason
Kill: Verax


Lissa: Okay, I only know like, one of these people. I've got nothing to go on here. Can I get some pics, at least?

Here.

Lissa: Cheers. Hrm... oh man, this Verax guy is cut. I'm fucking him.

Lucius: You do know he's a serial killer, right?

Lissa: -shrugs- Eh, we've all got our quirks.

Lucius: ...That is not even a remotely appropriate response.

Lissa wrote:

Fuck: Verax
Marry: ---
Kill: ---

Lissa: I'd marry Kai, because they seem like a pretty decent person and I reckon I can talk them into cutting loose a little. Guess that means I'm killing this Mason guy. Sorry, dude.

Lissa wrote:

Fuck: Verax
Marry: Kai
Kill: Mason

Alice: We need to talk about your taste in men.

Lissa: Oh, like you're any better. You dated Lucius!

Alice: ...Point.

Final answers:
Lucius wrote:

Fuck: Mason
Marry: Kai
Kill: Verax

Alice wrote:

Fuck: Mason
Marry: Kai
Kill: Verax

Shun wrote:

Fuck: Kai
Marry: Mason
Kill: Verax

Liam wrote:

Fuck: Kai
Marry: Mason
Kill: Verax

Lissa wrote:

Fuck: Verax
Marry: Kai
Kill: Mason

3

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

Welcome to another round of Fuck, Marry, Kill!

Ever: How did we get here?

That's classified.

PEFE!Every: Do I have to answer?

Yes.

-...-

Your options are: Kai, Dune, and Scarlette.

Amanita: Who?

That's not important right now.

Brie: This is private, right?

You're welcome to believe that.

-Brie sighs-

~~~~

Let's start with Ever.

Ever: Well, obviously, I'd fuck Kai. We're buds.

Wait, what.

Ever: I won't insult your intelligence by explaining. So then I'd marry Dune, because Deziree would kill me, and it'd be hilarious.

So you're killing Scarlette?

Ever: Sacrifices have to be made. She'll understand.

...Okay.

~~~~

Brie: Oh, uh...already? Um, well, I'd marry Kai, so-

Ever: Oh, wow, you're there already?

Brie: AUGH! How are you here?

Yeah, how are you here? You're not supposed to be.

Ever: That's not the point. Ooh, Brie, not that it's not obvious, but who'd you fuck?

Brie: Can't we just cuddle?

Signs point to no.

Brie: ...I guess I'd kill Dune, then? I'd feel awful, but...

Ever: My future husband? You monster.

Brie: What?

Ever: What? Let's go check on Pef.

Wait, you can't just-

~~~~

Ever: Yooooo.

PEFE!Every: Of course you're here.

I have no idea how.

Ever: Nor will you ever!

Ugh.

Ever: So come on, what's your answer?

PEFE!Every: How many kill options do I get?

...One.

PEFE!Every: Fine. Kai then.

Brie: What?

PEFE!Every: It's the only logical approach. Dune has access to immense scientific and technological resources through his family and other connections, and I want my hands on that. And Scarlette is very attractive, and not dating any of my relatives.

Ever: And so you want your hands on that.

PEFE!Every: Can you ever just not speak?

No.

Ever: Nope! Now, let's check out the last of us.

~~~~

Amanita: I don't want anybody dead!

You don't have a choice! It's not Fuck, Marry, Hospitalize!

Amanita: ...I don't want to hospitalize anyone either???

Ever: Really? I've got a whole list, if you want suggestions.

Amanita: I do- why are you here?!

Ever: Colorful commentary!

PEFE!Every: Personal purgatory.

Brie: ...Alliterative additions?

Ever: ^_^

Amanita: Tell the weird voice I'm not going to kill anybody!

Ever: You don't have to. It's just, like, which one would you kill if you had to.

Amanita: When would that situation ever come up?

-...-

-the other three Memitos are having some serious difficulty meeting Amanita's eyes-

Amanita: ...Oh my gods, what?

Ever: I'd really rather not talk about it.

Brie: It's sort of a long story.

PEFE!Every: I've killed more of the people I've met than I've left alive.

-...-

What the fuck.

Ever: Yeah, that's, uh, pretty fucked up.

PEFE!Every: Thanks.

Amanita: ...

-she sighs-

I, guess I'd kill Kai then? Because, uh, the purple. Weeding out the competition?

Ever: As good a reason as any.

Brie: What the fuck!

Ever: (gasps) Language!

Brie: Shut the fuck up! Stop killing my partner!

Ever: I picked fuck, if that helps.

Brie: It does not.

Amanita: And, uh, fuck Dune, I guess? Marry Scarlette? I don't even know who that is.

Ever: Oh, she's great. You'll be happy together.

Amanita: You are taking this too seriously. So, are we done? Can we go?

PEFE!Every: Not yet. There's one more question.

Amanita: Is there?

PEFE!Every: Who's behind this?

-...-

Brie: Well, that's easy. It's Ever.

Ever: What?

Brie: Oh, come on. You're enjoying this too much for it to not be you. Besides, that's clearly your voice. Did you prerecord it or something?

Ever: I do not sound like that.

And I do not sound like them.

Ever: ...Anyway, for once, it's not me.

Brie: ...Then...

-everyone turns around slowly-

-to see Other!Every, holding a microphone-

-...-

Other!Every: Hi!

Ever: Everything makes sense now.

Brie: Yep.

Amanita: It does.

PEFE!Every: I hate this.

Other!Every: I don't even know who these people are; I got their names off the fansites.

4 (edited by CorvusAtrox 2018-11-24 20:28:17)

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

And now it's time for yet another game of Fuck, Marry, Kill! Round Four!

A Honchkrow, Mightyena, and two humans are here before the former two change into humans as well.

Hajime, not sure who any of the other people are, just... gives an awkward wave.

Maggie sighs.

Maggie: "Wish I wasn't doing this with him, but oh well."

Sholto: "So... Fuck, Marry, Kill? What is this?"

Kaisei: "Uh, game where you get three people and you have to do that with each of them."

Sholto: "Oh, cool. Who are our people?"

Maggie: "We'll find out who they are soon, I think."

Hajime: "Alright..."

Your choices are... Tagg, Umbra, and Forte!

Pics of each of the three of them pop up. Maggie stares at Tagg's pic.

Maggie: "...Well, this'll be awkward."

Kaisei: "Guess I got my answer for one already..."

Kaisei wrote:

Fuck:
Marry:
Kill: Forte

Sholto: "Why them?"

Kaisei: "Too young for either of the others."

Sholto: "That's fair."

Maggie: "Honestly, I think I'll do this on the grounds that it would be somehow less awkward than the other two and I'm pretty sure he'd kill me first."

Maggie wrote:

Fuck:
Marry:
Kill: Tagg

Hajime: "Honestly, only really know Tagg too well, so..."

Hajime wrote:

Fuck: Forte
Marry: Tagg
Kill: Umbra

Hajime: "Sorry to that other guy, but if it was a night, blue hair's more my type."

Maggie: "Well, I guess continuing on a similar note and the avoiding too much awkwardness train..."

Maggie wrote:

Fuck: Umbra
Marry: Forte
Kill: Tagg

Kaisei: "Mm... Well, both Tagg and Umbra are hot, but not sure if I'd be as up with commitment for Tagg, so..."

Kaisei wrote:

Fuck: Tagg
Marry: Umbra
Kill: Forte

Sholto has been thinking for a bit.

Sholto: "Okay, think I got it."

Sholtoi wrote:

Fuck: Forte
Marry: Tagg
Kill: Umbra

Hajime: "Huh, we had the same one..."

Sholto: "Tagg's probably the one I trust best of the three and Umbra could just be a ghost if I killed him."

Kaisei: "That doesn't explain Fuck for Forte."

Sholto: "Eh, they don't look too bad, but that was the one left over."

Kaisei: "Fair, I guess."

"Welcome. Do you have some... b u s i n e s s?"

"Halt dein Höllesobst mir fern, Versucher." ~ jedesdummisel

5

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

Round Five of Fuck, Marry, Kill!

Fuck, Marry, Kill?

Ann: Let's get this over with.

Your choices are... Sol, Channah, and Echo.

Fuck...

...Well, okay then.

-Looking at the list-

This is... very awkward. But Echo has trolled me enough times to put her on my kill list. Also, I feel like she'd be disappointed if I did anything less. It would be more of a little death anyway.

Fuck: ----

Marry: ----

Kill: Echo

Ann: I'm probably even less interested in the whole sex thing than you are, but if I had to choose someone...

Fuck: Sol

Marry: ----

Kill: ----


Final answers:

Tagg:

Fuck: Channah

Marry: Sol

Kill: Echo

Ann:

Fuck: Sol

Marry: Channah

Kill: Echo

6 (edited by Dogs 2018-11-24 20:53:14)

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

Would you fuck, marry or kill the following people: Ever, Verax, Forte?

-Joe and Munn both recoil in disgust-

Both: Forte?

Joe: They're an infant!

Munn: A child!

Joe: I don't even care if they're old enough now! I raised them with my own two hands!

Munn: But we don't wanna kill them, do we?

-Joe shrugs-

Joe: Someone's gotta.

Munn: Fuck, I guess it'd be...Ever?

Joe: Ever? Really?

-Munn shrugs-

Munn: They're cute.

-Joe tilts his head-

Joe: Munn T. Noname, if I didn't know better I'd think you were developing a type.

Munn: Supernatural twinks with weird hair?

Joe: Could be worse.

Munn: How about you? Who would you fuck?

Joe: Verax.

Munn: Verax?

Joe: Verax.

Munn: Explain.

-Joe leans his head back, as though internally debating what is and isn't appropriate to say-

Joe: I want to hold onto his biceps while he does curls and let him lift me up and down.

Munn: Awfully specific fantasy.

-Joe gives a delighted cackle-

Joe: Honey, that wasn't specific. Do you want me to get specific?

Munn: Yes. No. Later.

...

Munn: I guess I'd marry Verax. We're pretty on the same page, I think.

Joe: I'd marry Ever. They're like me with a Xanax prescription, and I find that charming in a person.

Munn: That's fair.

7

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

Fuck-Marry-Kill: Memitoplex Edition

Kai: ...What.

Scarlette: You heard them, our choices are Brie, Amanita, and... PEFE!Every? Why not just call her Every?

Kai: Nonono, I heard. I just... Hoo boy this is awkward.

Diane: We'll give you a minute.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diane: All right, me first. Sorry, Brie, I don't want to hurt Kai but you've gotta go on the kill spot.

Kai: -muffled muttering from facedown in a pillow-

Diane: I'm sorry!

Rose: Rip.

Diane: All right, all right, back to the question. Marry... Every, probably. Psyche would thank me, certainly. That leaves Amanita for "fuck", and honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way anyway.

Diane:
FUCK: Amanita
MARRY: PEFE!Every
KILL: Brie


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Skye: Yeah, no, sorry Brie, you're on my hitlist too.

Kai: Mrrrrrr.

Skye: Oh, relax, it's hypothetical, I'm not killing your girlfriend for real.

Echo: So you think.

Kai: -muffled, but it sounds vaguely like "Echooooooo..."-

Skye: ...Aaaaaaaanyway, for "fuck", Every's already got an open invitation, so Amanita's going under "marry".

-Scarlette snickers from the sidelines.-

Skye:
FUCK: PEFE!Every
MARRY: Amanita
KILL: Brie


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alyssa: Oh gosh, not me next...

Rose: Yeah, sorry, you're up.

Alyssa: Okay, um... Marry Amanita, I guess? Oh, gosh, I'm not sure, uh... Okay, um, marry her, sleep with Brie... I'm so sorry, Every, I'm killing you in this.

Kai: Thank you for being the first who wouldn't kill my girlfriend.

Alyssa:
FUCK: Brie
MARRY: Amanita
KILL: PEFE!Every


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vierr: Okay, cool, this is way easier than the last one. Fuck Amanita, marry Brie, kill Every.

Rose: Should we be worried you're so confident about your decision to kill Every?

Vierr: What, isn't it an easy choice? You've gotta know your preferences.

Rose: Uhhh, no?

Vierr: Hm.

Vierr:
FUCK: Amanita
MARRY: Brie
KILL: PEFE!Every


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vierr: All right, then, what are your answers?

Rose: Come on, man, don't put me on the spot like this.

Scarlette: Inquiring minds want to know, Rose, you gotta give us the deets.

Rose: Come on, really? Fine, then. Just give me a moment.

Skye: Clock's ticking.

-The group (except for Kai) stares intently at Rose as she thinks it over.-

Rose: ...Please give me some space. Okay, so, fuck Every, marry Brie, kill Amanita.

Scarlette: There we go!

Rose:
FUCK: PEFE!Every
MARRY: Brie
KILL: Amanita


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diane: So, who's next--

Echo: Fuck Brie, marry Amanita, kill Every.

Skye: Seriously, why are you able to answer so fast?

Echo: Every was obvious, there is no feasible way she would ever consider marrying or getting in bed with me and likewise I refuse to with her. The remaining option, therefore, is murder.

Rose: I don't think I've ever been more terrified of you.

Echo: Amanita, I feel confident in saying I would be more satisfied spending my life with than Brie. One night with Brie, perhaps, but we both know it wouldn't be remotely fulfilling continuing any form of relationship past that point.

Rose: ...I suppose.

Echo:
FUCK: Brie
MARRY: Amanita
KILL: PEFE!Every


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scarlette: Alright, cool, me next. Gonna be real with you, Amanita is by far the hottest out of the three, I'll gladly let her fuck me. Hell, do you guys know if she's open?

Kai: She's straight. And taken. Exact quote from Ever.

Scarlette: Aw, really? Bummer. Oh well. At least I can dream. Anyway, Every's enough of a friend that I'd rather marry her than kill her, so sorry again, Kai, another one of us is killing your girlfriend.

Kai: Yeah, I figured.

Scarlette:
FUCK: Amanita
MARRY: PEFE!Every
KILL: Brie


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rose: Yo, Mason. Haven't heard from you, you wanna pipe up a bit?

-Mason mutters.-

Mason: I don't swing that way...

Skye: Oh, come on, they didn't give me the option to just answer Ever for both "fuck" and "marry" during the last game, you can give a hypothetical "if I did swing that way" answer.

Paula: I mean, I was able to answer "Lucius" for all three last time.

-Scarlette, Rose, Kai, Skye, and Diane all simultaneously leap out of their seats to pull out pocket knives the moment they hear Paula.-

Paula: ...What? I was invited.

Skye: ...

Diane: ...

Kai: ...

Rose: ...

Scarlette: ...

-Kai is the first to put their knife down.-

Kai: At least this is noncanon.

Paula: Your opinions are canon and you know it, but whatever.

-The other four mutter and put away their knives as well. Echo turns a page from her book.-

Echo: Anyway, back to the point at hand, if I recall correctly, you answered and didn't let anyone correct you about how the game should be played. I will ensure that you participate properly this time.

Paula: Ooh, scary. You always were my favorite out of this bunch, you know?

Echo: We have not met in canon.

Paula: Pssssh. Whatever. Mason! Your answers! We are waaaaaaiting~

Mason: Mrrrrr. Fine, then. Fuck Brie, marry Every, kill Amanita. I'm going back to not involving myself in this one.

Mason:
FUCK: Brie
MARRY: PEFE!Every
KILL: Amanita


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paula: All right, my turn! Luckily, I came prepared.

Diane: Of course you did.

Paula: Yep! Fuck Amanita, marry Pef, kill Brie.

-Kai starts to stand up, grabbing their knife. Echo places a hand on their shoulder, and they sit back down.-

Paula:
FUCK: Amanita
MARRY: PEFE!Every
KILL: Brie


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Echo: Well, Kai, it looks like you're the last remaining one.

Kai: Mrrrr.

Diane: Oh, I know their answers already~

Kai: Shhhh.

Scarlette: Well? Spill! We've gotta know.

Rose: We already know Brie's either going under "marry" or "fuck", that's just obvious.

-Kai goes red.-

Kai: Marry. I figured you would have guessed that.

Rose: Yeah, sorta. If it weren't one-to-one per category, though, we all know--

Kai: Shoosh.

-Rose smirks ever-so-slightly. Kai goes redder.-

Kai: Anyway, Amanita's going under "kill".

Diane: Is she, though?

Echo: You shouldn't lie in this game, you know.

Kai: ...

-Kai curls back up on the couch, burying their face in the pillow again.-

Kai: Okay, yeah. I'd kill Every, and sleep with Amanita.

Diane: Purple. Always gets you.

Kai: Oh, shut up.

-Diane pats Kai's head. They mutter into the pillow incoherently.-

Kai:
FUCK: Amanita
MARRY: Brie
KILL: PEFE!Every


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Final Results:

Kai:
FUCK: Amanita
MARRY: Brie
KILL: PEFE!Every


Skye:
FUCK: PEFE!Every
MARRY: Amanita
KILL: Brie


Diane:
FUCK: Amanita
MARRY: PEFE!Every
KILL: Brie


Alyssa:
FUCK: Brie
MARRY: Amanita
KILL: PEFE!Every


Vierr:
FUCK: Amanita
MARRY: Brie
KILL: PEFE!Every


Rose:
FUCK: PEFE!Every
MARRY: Brie
KILL: Amanita


Echo:
FUCK: Brie
MARRY: Amanita
KILL: PEFE!Every


Scarlette:
FUCK: Amanita
MARRY: PEFE!Every
KILL: Brie


Mason:
FUCK: Brie
MARRY: PEFE!Every
KILL: Amanita


Paula:
FUCK: Amanita
MARRY: PEFE!Every
KILL: Brie


[Spectrum was here!]

8 (edited by BlitzTrain 2018-11-25 01:59:40)

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

Fuck-Marry-Kill:  Skybound edition

Blitz:  Okay, first off those are very personal questions, and secondly that's an incredibly limited set of options!

Tori:  Yeeeup, that's kind of the point.  So, Jason, Lane and Maria, which ones?

Blitz  I don't know how I let you talk me into this stupid game -_-

Tori:  Because I still have some pictures of you as a girl from Truth or Dare just waiting to be uploaded to an e-mail.  >=3

BlitzFiiiine,  'Fuck' Maria.  There, happy?

Tori:  That was decisive.

Blitz:  She's the only girl on the list!  Did you forget I'm straight?

Tori:  Hello, you can turn into a girl on a whim, that'd make any of these pairings straight if you wanted.

Blitz: .....

Tori:  >=3

Blitz:  Okay...  Technically true, but I think I'd still rather not think of guys that way.

Tori:  Gotcha.... 

You'd rather be a lesbian.

Blitz:  -Buries his face in his hands-  Please, stop, talking

Tori:  Not until you finish the round!

Blitz:  Ugh.....

Tori:  Come on, it's just hypotheticals anyway.

Blitz  Alright...  Marry and Kill...

Actually, let me redo that.  'Marry' Maria, 'Fuck'...  Jason, I guess, 'kill' Lane.

Tori:   Oy, you have something against my boyfriend?

Blitz:  Yes, the fact his girlfriend is making fun of me.  Now hurry up and take your turn so I can go think about anything else

Tori:  Okay...  'Fuck', Maria, 'Marry' Lane, Kill Jason.  See?  Easy.

Blitz:  ...Huh, after the thing with Duke I was sure you'd fuck Jason.

Tori: Yeah...  Well, Jason has that creepy metal arm, and it'd be kinda hard to marry Lane if I killed his sister.

Blitz:  Mmmh.  Fair enough.

-Beat-

Blitz:  ....So, looking forward to a Heiden threesome then?

-Tori punches Blitz in the arm, hard-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Final Results

Blitz:

  • F - Jason
    M - Maria
    K- Lane

Tori:

  • F - Maria
    M - Lane
    K- Jason

9 (edited by BittersweetNSour 2018-11-26 02:28:27)

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

FMK: Villainous Edition!

Skye: KILL PAULA. KILL PAULA IMMEDIATELY.

Paula: Hey, hey! Slow down a moment, we haven't even gotten to say the options yet!

Mason: Well, you are one of them. Paula, Titan, and Carmilla.

Paula: Nice~ I am looking forward to this one.

Skye: Fuck you.

Paula: Didn't you just say kill me?

-Skye pulls out a knife, and the room erupts into chaos.-


One commercial break later...

-Miraculously, the group has managed to calm down enough without anyone getting stabbed or restrained.-

Skye: Okay, so, I'd like to go first, to emphasize that I am going to kill Paula, hands-down. That's not a hypothetical, that's a canon promise.

Paula: We'll see about that!

Diane: If she doesn't, I will. Again, canon.

Paula: Hey, there's enough of me to go around~ Y'all can take turns, it'll be like Julius Caesar all over again.

Skye: Looking forward to it. Anyway, that leaves Carm and Titan. Being the lesbian that I am, I'm absolutely going to fuck Carmilla. Titan already knows well enough about loveless marriages, from what I hear.

Scarlette: Ooh, burn. Nice one.

Diane: I'm the other way around. Fuck Titan, marry Carm. You know how it is.

Skye: I... can't say I do.

Skye:
FUCK: Carmilla
MARRY: Titan
KILL: Paula


Diane:
FUCK: Titan
MARRY: Carmilla
KILL: Paula


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rose: Yeah, no, same, I'd marry Titan and fuck Carmilla. And kill Paula.

Paula: Wh-- really? You're not a clonefucker?

Rose: I'm not you. First off, you're awful, and second off, I hate the fact that I look like you with a passion. Don't compare yourself to me.

Paula: I can't believe I'd betray myself like this.

Rose: I said I'm not you, and you're not me either.

Paula: I'm hurt, Rose. After I defended you in that rap battle, too.

Rose: I had it all under control!

Paula: But she was clearly trying to insult me, not you! Ooh, wait, Kirsten should have been one of the options for this game.

Rose:
FUCK: Carmilla
MARRY: Titan
KILL: Paula


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paula: But, oh well. She's not. So I've gotta pick between... oof. Okay, so! Obviously I'd marry myself--

Rose: I thought, in all your narcissistic glory, you'd fuck yourself.

Diane: I think I speak for all of us when I say we'd all like you to go fuck yourself.

Paula: Ah, but! Isn't it more narcissistic to marry myself? Who else could handle a lifetime of living with me, than me? I keep things interesting~

Rose: That's not the word I'd use.

Paula: It's the word I'd use. Anyway, I knew Titan when I was like, seventeen, and he was already an old man, so... sorry, killing that guy. Carm might be older, but I didn't know her when I was a teen, so it's not as weird. You get me?

Skye: This is the first time I've heard you ever have standards.

Paula: Excuse me, I have standards quite frequently!

Paula:
FUCK: Carmilla
MARRY: Paula
KILL: Titan


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scarlette: So, Ms. Echo "Ridiculously Fast Answers" Lingua, what's your verdict?

Echo: Fuck Paula, marry Carmilla, kill Titan.

Scarlette: Oh, man, same.

Rose: Excuse me, what.

Paula: -already in Echo's lap- Oh, yes, do tell.

Scarlette: Okay, okay, hear me out. We want all three of them dead anyway, right? So obviously, no matter who I kill as part of the game, I can just kill the other two after the game ends. So, obviously, Paula's by far the hottest, so I'm gonna want to ride her. Show her who's boss and all, right?

Paula: Please tell me you're making plans.

Scarlette: We'll talk later. Anyway, that leaves Titan and Carmilla. Obviously, as a lesbian, I'm gonna go for the pretty vampire lady, and kill the old man. Besides, if I end up killing Carm after marrying her, I automatically inherit her entire "spouse died in mysterious circumstances" wardrobe, it's all set up so perfectly.

Paula: ...You're my favorite.

Echo: ...I'm astonished by how much your reasoning matches mine. Down to the wardrobe plans. The only difference is my reasons for killing Titan are less due to sexuality and more due to distaste for neglectful or abusive parents.

Paula: God, that's relatable. Anyway, threesome?

Echo: As Scarlette said, we'll talk later.

Paula: Nice~

-Rose turns to Diane, and places her pocket knife in her hand.-

Rose: Please just end me right now.

Diane: I'm sorry, I have to wait until we're offscreen.

Rose: Ugh.

Echo:
FUCK: Paula
MARRY: Carmilla
KILL: Titan


Scarlette:
FUCK: Paula
MARRY: Carmilla
KILL: Titan


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paula: So, anyone else putting me in the "fuck" category? I've just gotta know.

Kai: -quiet uncomfortable muttering-

Skye: ...Kai.

Diane: Kai, please don't tell me you're interested in boning my evil cousin.

-Kai does not meet anyone's eyes.-

Kai: Fine, I won't say it. I'll kill Carmilla, and marry Titan.

-Skye groans. Diane just pinches the bridge of her nose.-

Kai: Look, I have more of a grudge against Carmilla personally. Hell, it's entirely possible I will be the one killing her in canon, it would certainly be the logical narrative choice. That leaves Paula and Titan, and there's no way in hell I'm fucking Titan. It's bad enough I have to pick him for one of the two when I already said I've sworn off the Cain name. Besides, the entire Jaide family is full of hot people.

Diane: ...You are tentatively forgiven. But you're on thin fucking ice.

Kai: I shall end my point there, then. Vierr, Mason, your turn.

Kai:
FUCK: Paula
MARRY: Titan
KILL: Carmilla


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vierr: Honestly, this is just an awful no-wins scenario.

Mason: Weak. I dunno what you're doing, but I'm definitely choosing to fuck Titan.

Rose: Of course you are.

-She aggressively coughs something that sounds suspiciously like "daddy".-

Mason: Oh, shut it. Anyway, marry Paula, kill Carmilla. I like the idea of spending my life with a chaotic evil trickster far better than with an affront to the domain of life.

Rose: ...Yeah no that all scans. Vierr, you?

Vierr: I'd really like to abstain.

Kai: I didn't, so you shouldn't.

Vierr: Ugh. Fuck Paula, marry Carm, kill Titan.

Diane: Again with the Paula fucking! I can't trust any of you!

Vierr: She's objectively the hottest! I could at least stand a night with her, it's not like it's something I fantasize about like Kai does.

Kai: Vierr Terriblewizard Qualtis.

Echo: Ahem. Alyssa? I think you're our last one.

Alyssa: Oh gosh.

Mason:
FUCK: Titan
MARRY: Paula
KILL: Carmilla


Vierr:
FUCK: Paula
MARRY: Carmilla
KILL: Titan



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alyssa: Okay, so, I... think I'm gonna go with Diane on this one. Kill Paula, first.

Paula: Yeah, sorta saw that coming from you.

Alyssa: Then sleep with Titan, and marry Carmilla. Yeah.

Diane: Thank you, Alyssa. I knew I loved you for a reason~

-She smooches Alyssa's cheek, and she giggles.-

Alyssa:
FUCK: Titan
MARRY: Carmilla
KILL: Paula


Skye: Right, cool. I think that's everyone, then?

Echo: So it would seem.

Skye: Finally. PAULA!

-She pulls out her knife, and the room erupts into chaos again.-


Final Results

Kai:
FUCK: Titan
MARRY: Paula
KILL: Carmilla


Skye:
FUCK: Carmilla
MARRY: Titan
KILL: Paula


Diane:
FUCK: Titan
MARRY: Carmilla
KILL: Paula


Alyssa:
FUCK: Titan
MARRY: Carmilla
KILL: Paula


Vierr:
FUCK: Paula
MARRY: Carmilla
KILL: Titan


Rose:
FUCK: Carmilla
MARRY: Titan
KILL: Paula


Echo:
FUCK: Paula
MARRY: Carmilla
KILL: Titan


Scarlette:
FUCK: Paula
MARRY: Carmilla
KILL: Titan


Mason:
FUCK: Titan
MARRY: Paula
KILL: Carmilla


Paula:
FUCK: Carmilla
MARRY: Paula
KILL: Titan


[Spectrum was here!]

10 (edited by BittersweetNSour 2019-09-17 03:00:27)

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

It's time for a Superhero Double-Feature!

-Kai spins around dramatically in a swivel chair, legs crossed, casually holding a microphone and using their best announcer voice.-

Kai: Today, we have a very special selection of individuals for our game of Fuck-Marry-Kill. We have six names, and everyone here must pick two per category. Our choices are: Shingeko, Gaia, the first Auric Avenger, the fourth Auric Avenger, Jackal, and Rogue. Secret identities will not be revealed for the sake of the game, and only those who already know them can take them into account.

Diane: You know you're only saying that because you're the only one here who knows all of them personally.

-Kai grins.-

Kai: I'm saying it because it's gonna be goddamn hilarious. Shall we begin?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Echo: As the resident supervillain, I think it's only fitting that I go first.

Kai: Nice.

Echo: Now, the first Avenger, Gaia, and Shingeko were active while I was opposed to the J-Team. Logically, this means I have to kill two of them, and I'm afraid I'd have to choose the Avenger and Gaia.

-Kai winces.-

Kai: Okay, that struck a chord.

Echo: All's fair in love, war, and steamy one-night stands, Kai. Shingeko, meanwhile, is excellent husband material, and I would be delighted to have an emotional character arc in which we gradually grow from enemies to friends to lovers.

Skye: Aha, so the redemption arc you're already having. Got it.

Echo: If that is what you'd like to believe.

Scarlette: So, the other three? One marry, two fucks.

Echo: It only makes sense that I would want to marry Rogue, a fellow villain-turned-hero with a troubled past, and fuck both of the remaining Lucario-themed heroes at the same time.

-Kai bursts out laughing, very nearly falling out of their chair.-

Rose: Isn't Jackal, like, barely Lucario-themed?

Echo: His name is Jackal. He has a Lucario color scheme. The point is, I want to feel those rippling muscles. Is that so much to ask?

Rose: How in the hell do you keep a poker face saying that

-Echo gives no response beyond a small smile.-

Echo:
FUCK: Avenger V4, Jackal
MARRY: Shingeko, Rogue
KILL: Avenger V1, Gaia


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paula: Let's keep the supervillains-first theme and let me go next, yeah?

Rose: Dammit, didn't we kick you out after last round?

Echo: I let her back in because she is a vital part of this game.

Paula: Thank you, Echo.

Diane: Traitor.

Echo: Betrayals are my speciality.

Paula: Anyway, before we get our knives out again, I've got a game to play. First off, fuck Avenger 1, because I think it's funny. Second, fuck Avenger 4, because that's even funnier.

Scarlette: I'm sorry, Paula, we have a strict one-joke limit. I'm afraid you have to pay a fine.

-Paula stuffs a ₽5000 note down Scarlette's shirt, winks, and gets back to her spiel as Scarlette rolls her eyes.-

Paula: Now, this is the part where things get tricky, because all of them are fantastic spouse material. However, Jackal's at the top of the list, by far, and unfortunately for frogboy, Shingeko's at the bottom. Where it gets ''tricky'' is, do I want to marry Gaia to solidify my status among the leadership of the Aurabolts, or do I want to marry Rogue for their mysterious charm and undoubtedly devilish good looks beneath the mask?

Rose: ...Well, which one is it?

Paula: Give me a moment! I'm thinking. Rogue is very much my type, but... I'm afraid sacrifices must be made for power. Marry Gaia, kill Rogue.

Paula:
FUCK: Avenger V1, Avenger V4
MARRY: Jackal, Gaia
KILL: Shingeko, Rogue


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scarlette: Goddamn, you two have awful taste. I'm gonna fuck Rogue and Gaia. That's a promise, not a hypothetical.

-Kai snorts in laughter.-

Scarlette: Don't laugh! They're objectively the hottest!

Paula: Oh, no, don't get me wrong, if I had the option to pick three, I'd definitely be riding Rogue's d--

Skye: A-hem, you already had your turn, Paula.

Paula: What a fuckin' killjoy.

Scarlette: Anyway, I'd marry Shingeko and the first Avenger, and kill V4 and Jackal. I feel a connection to V1.

Kai: Waitwaitwait, do-- do you know the original Avenger's identity?

Scarlette: Not a clue, why?

-That sends Kai over the edge. Referring to their chair, of course; they double over and collapse onto the ground in laughter.-

Scarlette:
FUCK: Gaia, Rogue
MARRY: Shingeko, Avenger V1
KILL: Avenger V4, Jackal


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scarlette: Okay, you know what? You're next.

Kai: Fine, fine! I had my answers ready this time around. Kill both of the Avengers, marry Shingeko and Jackal, and fuck Gaia and Rogue.

Scarlette: ...Damn. Reasons?

Kai: Okay, so, Gaia's identity is... somewhat public knowledge, as is V1's. Since you came around just a couple years ago, it makes sense that you don't know it, but most of the rest of us are familiar, so they know my history with them.

-Scarlette blinks, and digs out her phone to start Googling.-

Kai: Likewise, I'm one of Shingeko's secret-keepers; their identity is significantly less public, but we're close friends. Now, as for V4, they haven't shown themself enough to really get a reputation, right? So it'd be the least impactful if I killed them -- except I'd probably loophole it as "kill the identity", leaving the person underneath to return to casual civilian life, because that's the least awkward.

Rose: Oh, fuck, we can do that?

Kai: We can because I said so.

Rose: Cool, that makes things easier.

Vierr: Coward. Kill V4 just as much as you kill V1.

-Kai just grins.-

Kai: Anyway, the remaining two are Jackal and Rogue. Jackal's got major husband vibes, and Rogue is extremely attractive, so marry and fuck respectively.

Diane: Hey, Kai, unrelated question. Specifically, clone question, yes or no?

Kai: ...Uhhh, no, obviously.

-Diane smirks, whispering something into Alyssa's ear. Alyssa stifles a giggle.-

Kai:
FUCK: Gaia, Rogue
MARRY: Shingeko, Jackal
KILL: Avenger V1, Avenger V4


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kai: Hey, now, since you're laughing at me, that means you're the one who has to answer next.

Alyssa: Wait, me?

Kai: Yeah. And Diane's next after you. That's how it works.

Diane: Hey, now, you don't make the rules.

Kai: And yet!

Alyssa: Okay, okay, whew, let's see... I'm gonna marry Jackal and Gaia,  kill the old Avenger and Shingeko, I guess, and fuck Rogue and the new Avenger I guess?

Rose: ...It looked like it physically pained you to say "fuck".

Alyssa: I felt left out! Everyone else is saying it and I just feel weird even saying "sleep with"!

-Rose snorts.-

Alyssa: Don't laugh.

Rose: Sorry. Uh, next?

Diane: As per Word Of Kai, that'd be me. And I dunno about you, but Rogue and Jackal are definitely at the top of my fuck list.

Kai: Nice.

Diane: I'm marrying Gaia and Shingeko. Shingeko's the only one I don't actually know, but I do know that he's, like, the ultimate husband.

Mason: Case in point, half the party has put him under "marry" already.

Diane: Yeah, there's a reason for that! Anyway, that leaves both Avengers in the kill spot.

Kai: Ayyy, Avenger-killing buds.

-Diane winks.-

Alyssa:
FUCK: Avenger V4, Rogue
MARRY: Jackal, Gaia
KILL: Avenger V1, Shingeko


Diane:
FUCK: Rogue, Jackal
MARRY: Gaia, Shingeko
KILL: Avenger V1, Avenger V4


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Skye: Okay, so, here's the problem.

Rose: Hm?

Skye: Obviously, my immediate first fuck choice is Gaia. I'm the biggest lesbian here.

Scarlette: (not looking up from her phone) There's two of us here and you're like half my height.

Skye: I have an absurdly high concentration of gay within my tiny body. It's a wonder I haven't become a singularity yet. Anyway, obviously the other option would be one of the nonbinary heroes, right? But I know who's behind the masks for Rogue and the new Avenger, and there's no way in hell I'm even going to entertain that thought. Just, no. They're going on the kill list.

Paula: That does make their identities a bit more obvious, y'know.

Skye: Shush, this is noncanon, nobody's going to remember this conversation in the thread. The best you'll get is a sequel to Animosity. Anyway, that means I need to choose from the other three, who are all guys. Which sucks. But I can't back out, so I'm gonna have to sacrifice the need for the aforementioned Ultimate Husband, leaving me with the first Avenger and Jackal to marry, in order to have Shingeko be the only worthy fuck choice.

Kai: Hey, Skye, do you play Touhou?

Skye: ...No?

Kai: You could've fooled me, with how many bullets you just dodged.

-Diane snort-laughs.-

Skye:
FUCK: Gaia, Shingeko
MARRY: Avenger V1, Jackal
KILL: Rogue, Avenger V4



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paula: Down to the final three!

Rose: Mason, get that weird dreamy look out of your face and answer the darn question.

Mason: Hey, shush, let me daydream about Shingeko in peace. Needless to say, I want that Ultimate Husband as much as y'all do.

-Kai stifles yet another laugh.-

Mason: Hey, now. I'm killing Rogue. Wait, no, better yet, selling Rogue out to the police. That'll show 'em.

Kai: Wow, harsh. So much vitriol. I thought they'd be the other marriage choice.

Mason: They almost were, but too bad. My other marriage is with the fourth Avenger instead.

-Kai, Diane, and Skye share an amused glance between the three of them.-

Mason: Anyway, Gaia gets the other kill spot, because what's actually important is that I'm gonna fuck Jackal and the first Avenger.

Kai: Do you know the Avenger's identity?

Mason: I figured I'd just hear once Scarlette gets done with her Googling.

Scarlette: Relax, I'm trying to find a reliable source! I keep ending up with weird outdated speculation sites.

Kai: I am so looking forward to when you figure it out.

Mason:
FUCK: Jackal, Avenger V1
MARRY: Shingeko, Avenger V4
KILL: Rogue, Gaia


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vierr: Gotta admit, I've gotta agree with you on your marriage choices. Definitely putting Shingeko and the new Avenger down for marrying. But the others? I don't think I've ever disagreed less.

Mason: Are yours really just mine in reverse order?

Vierr: In a better order. Because I'm right. Rogue and Gaia are absolute fuck material, and I'm never gonna turn down the chance to kill the old Avenger. Jackal's cooler, but I've still got to kill him as well.

Rose: Goddamn, I wish I had your confidence. Honestly, I've gotta marry Rogue, they seem pretty sweet under that edgy shell.

-Kai attempts to hide the faintest blush that starts to grow on their cheeks.-

Rose: And Jackal, too. He's hot, but I think Gaia and Shingeko are the hotter options, so they're the ones I'm fucking.

Kai: Poor Avengers, left to die.

Rose: Yeah, no, I came around just in time to find out who the old one was, and the new one probably isn't much better.

Kai: You know what? That's fair.

Vierr:
FUCK: Rogue, Gaia
MARRY: Shingeko, Avenger V4
KILL: Avenger V1, Jackal


Rose:
FUCK: Gaia, Shingeko
MARRY: Rogue, Jackal
KILL: Avenger V1, Avenger V4


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rose: Speaking of, Scarlette, find anything out?

Scarlette: It keeps turning up with the same thing!

Kai: Probably because that's the correct thing. ^_^

Scarlette: ...No. No fucking way. There's no way in hell that the first Avenger was Lucius Fucking Cain.

-Mason chokes on his drink, and Kai immediately falls into hysterics.-

Final results!

Kai:
FUCK: Gaia, Rogue
MARRY: Shingeko, Jackal
KILL: Avenger V1, Avenger V4


Skye:
FUCK: Gaia, Shingeko
MARRY: Avenger V1, Jackal
KILL: Rogue, Avenger V4


Diane:
FUCK: Rogue, Jackal
MARRY: Gaia, Shingeko
KILL: Avenger V1, Avenger V4


Alyssa:
FUCK: Avenger V4, Rogue
MARRY: Jackal, Gaia
KILL: Avenger V1, Shingeko


Vierr:
FUCK: Rogue, Gaia
MARRY: Shingeko, Avenger V4
KILL: Avenger V1, Jackal


Rose:
FUCK: Gaia, Shingeko
MARRY: Rogue, Jackal
KILL: Avenger V1, Avenger V4


Echo:
FUCK: Avenger V4, Jackal
MARRY: Shingeko, Rogue
KILL: Avenger V1, Gaia


Scarlette:
FUCK: Gaia, Rogue
MARRY: Shingeko, Avenger V1
KILL: Avenger V4, Jackal


Mason:
FUCK: Jackal, Avenger V1
MARRY: Shingeko, Avenger V4
KILL: Rogue, Gaia


Paula:
FUCK: Avenger V1, Avenger V4
MARRY: Jackal, Gaia
KILL: Shingeko, Rogue


[Spectrum was here!]

11

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

FMK - Round 11: Unmasked Heroes
Your choices are: Silas Grant, Kai Amarin, Pentigan Fivesides

Isbrand: "Is there any connection here?"

Shaun: "One I'm not allowed to tell you about."

"So, immediately I'm killing Silas. He's straight and ace, and I think he would be offended if I didn't. Our rivalry and all."

"And then, uh...hmm. Kai is like indisputably the hottest J-Teamer but they also seem well-adjusted? And then Pent...the Amulet would let me live out a lot of fantasies, plus he'll live forever..."

Kaiiseii: "Please stop talking."

Shaun: "Fuck Kai, Marry Pent, Kill Silas."


Shaun
Fuck: Kai
Marry: Pent
Kill: Silas


Jessica: "My turn, my turn! I'm gonna fuck Kai too because godsdamn. I respect Silas too much to fuck him -"

Shaun: "Wait are you saying you don't respect me?"

Jessica stares at him.

Shaun: "I mean I agree with you but that's a little rude."

Jessica: "I'm marrying Silas. That arm is made of husband material. Kill Pent because he's the biggest threat."


Jessica
Fuck: Kai
Marry: Silas
Kill: Pent


Isbrand: "I think we should save the lesbians for last."

Gabrielle: "We're important enough to go first."

Misaki: "But everyone else here wants to fuck dudes???"

Luca: "I'll go. Fuck Silas, marry Pent, kill Kai."

Kaiiseii: "Arceus that was fast. Care to explain why?"

Luca: "I like big buff boys, and the Lucario Pokeform and metal arm are just bonuses. Pent is mysterious and won't ask questions. That leaves Kai."

Kaiiseii: "Why do you need a spouse that won't ask questions?"

Luca gives a wolfish grin.


Luca
Fuck: Silas
Marry: Pent
Kill: Kai


Luca: "Your turn, fox boy."

Kaiiseii: "I mean, obviously I'm fucking Silas because I have a daddy kink."

Shaun chokes on his whiskey and falls to the floor coughing.

Jessica: "Oh shut up, like you don't call Mason daddy when he's got a hand on your throat as he rearranges your guts."

Shaun coughs harder.

Isbrand: "Please just commit mariticide already."

Kaiiseii: "Anyway, now that my family can no longer have Thankgiving dinner together, I'm gonna marry Pent because he do be kinda cute in an edgy way. Honestly I want to fuck all three of them but I'd have to top Pent and that's a lot of effort. But cooks pretty well. Better than Silas. Sadly I must kill Kai so I may take their nickname and become Kaii to honor their memory."

Kaiiseii
Fuck: Silas
Marry: Pent
Kill: Kai


Jessica: "You've put too much thought into this, son. Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth mutters something to herself.

Jessica: "What?"

There's silence as Jessica nods her head.

Jessica: "Okay first off baby we know you're into edgy pretty boys because you're with Julius. You can tell the class you wanna fuck Pent, it's okay. We're already judging you."

Elizabeth: "Fine, I want Pent to dom me. Happy?"

Jessica: "I have bad news for you but that man will never dom anyone."

Elizabeth: "Aww, really? I'm still gonna marry Kai and kill Silas. Kai is very sweet and appreciates Alolan pizza. Silas could crush me with his bare hands and as hot as that is I cannot let him live."


Elizabeth
Fuck: Pent
Marry: Kai
Kill: Silas


Shaun: "I wish there was an option to fuck all three of them."

Misaki: "I wish there was an option to fuck none of them. Isbrand?"

Isbrand: "Hmm...this is actually a tough one. Silas is an engineer and smart and I'm incredibly turned on at the thought of him, me, Diane, and Deziree working on a project together. On the other hand, I haven't compared his arm to my girlfriend's."

Isbrand glances at Jessica. "Has Roxy ever said the words 'devestating attack' to you?"

"Not that I can recall."

Isbrand nods. "Marry Silas, then. Now, as for Pent and Kai...I'm gonna fuck my fellow vamp. I'll drain Pent dry literally. I will suck his Aura out through his blood like Dio would."


Isbrand
Fuck: Kai
Marry: Silas
Kill: Pent


Kaiiseii: "You bastard. How many lives will you take to sate your hunger?"

Isbrand:: "How many pussies have you eaten in your life?"

Shaun: "I'm so proud. Your turn, Gabs."

Gabrielle: "Fuck Silas, because I can appreciate a fellow buff person. Marry Kai because they are very polite. Kill Pent. It has nothing to do with his worship of Nocturnal, or his unnatural lifespan."

Gabrielle
Fuck: Silas
Marry: Kai
Kill: Pent


Shaun: "Actually I think there's some weird time dilation with him."

Gabrielle: "I'm a priestess of Xerneas, not Dialga."

Isbrand: "That's just an excuse to get drunk and fuck."

Gabrielle and Kaiiseii shrug with smirks on their faces.

Misaki: "My turn, then. I'm the newest one here, and I'm also a demisexual lesbian with a girlfriend of three years.

Luca: "Just answer the questions."

Misaki: "Fine. I'm gonna fuck Silas. He's a Lucario, right? I'm used to pet play, thanks to Marie."

Shaun chokes on his whiskey again.

Shaun: "someone please just kill me"

Misaki: "So, marriage....I mean, I guess Kai. They seem nice enough. Plus, vampire spouse? Fuckin' ace. F for Pent, tho."


Misaki
Fuck: Kai
Marry: Silas
Kill: Pent


Kaiiseii: "Pent is getting the short end of the stick today."

Luca: "He should be getting the long end of the d-"

Shaun: "Okay wrap it up horny bitches. And various lesbians."

Isbrand: "Box of chocolates? Box of lesbians. Wrapped up nice and cute so you can peel them out and-"

Shaun: "I suppose it was a mistake to play this game."

Misaki: "why are you all sluts"

Final Results

Shaun
Fuck: Kai
Marry: Pent
Kill: Silas


Jessica
Fuck: Kai
Marry: Silas
Kill: Pent


Luca
Fuck: Silas
Marry: Pent
Kill: Kai


Kaiiseii
Fuck: Silas
Marry: Pent
Kill: Kai


Elizabeth
Fuck: Pent
Marry: Kai
Kill: Silas


Isbrand
Fuck: Kai
Marry: Silas
Kill: Pent


Gabrielle
Fuck: Silas
Marry: Kai
Kill: Pent


Misaki
Fuck: Kai
Marry: Silas
Kill: Pent


12

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

FMK Round 12: Three For Three
Sub-Round 1: FMK (+Wildcard), Classical Elements

Pentigan: ...

Susan: ...

Shift: <Excuse me but what the fuck?>

Pent: I dunno, I don't choose these!

Your choices are: Fire, Water, Earth, Air. One of the four may be in any category.

Shift: <Weird shit but okay.>

Susan: Gonna need a moment to think.

Pent: I guess I'll go first. Uh... Marry Air cause it's vital, kill... Earth maybe?

Shift: <The human in the room kills the Earth. Typical>

Pent: Oi, this is meant to be an upbeat thing. Uh... Marry Water because it's pretty vital too.

Susan: And risk it all by fucking fire.

Pent: Listen, I don't get how something this abstract works.

Pentigan
Fuck: Fire
Marry: Water, Air
Kill: Earth


Susan: Well alright. I'm fucking that smooth, smooth water, marrying fire and earth and killing air.

Shift: <Reasoning?>

Susan: Water's super smooth and pleasant and has some horny correlations. Fire is warm and passionate but you shouldn't put yourself inside it, Earth is dependable and solid but Air is a flighty asshole that loves playing tricks.

Susan
Fuck: Water
Marry: Fire, Earth
Kill: Air


Shift: <Alright well this is gonna make me sound kinda like a human-hating asshole but I'm killing Fire because it's the only one of the four that is intrinsically tied into humanity. Gonna marry Earth because unlike Pent I can treat a girl right and fucking Water and Air cause they're both amorphous and I'm kinda into that.

Shift
Fuck: Water, Air
Marry: Earth
Kill: Fire


================================================

Sub-Round 2: FMK Revenge Of The Dragon War

Susan: What does that even mean?

Pent: Not sure...

Your choices are: Dragons, Weremons, Humans

Pent: Oh.

Susan: Oh okay, I can do this. Fuck weremons because while Latias isn't one she is close enough to count. Then... Wait actually I want to... Hey are Latii dragons?

Shift: <Does it matter?>

Pent: I think they do?

Susan: Okay marry dragons because Latias fits that too so I can both fuck and marry her and then unfortunately kill humans. Which hey, doesn't cause problems for my relationship.

Susan
Fuck: Weremons
Marry: Dragons
Kill: Humans


Pent: Okay well I'm gonna fuck dragons.

Shift: <No. Surprise. There.>

Susan: Yep! You are totally a dragonfucker.

Pent: And I'm owning up to it. Marrying humans because hey and killing weremons- Wait no... Uh... Frick scratch that reverse it I guess...

Susan: Something wrong?

Shift: He's dating two separate weremons.

Susan: Big oof.

Pentigan
Fuck: Dragons
Marry: Weremons
Kill: Humans


Shift: <Easy one for me. Fuck weremons for that shifter solidarity, marry humans because I can exploit a relationship with all of humanity so hard and kill dragons because what have dragons ever done for the world? Nothin', that's what.

Shift
Fuck: Weremons
Marry: Humans
Kill: Dragons


================================================

Sub-Round 3: FMK (+Wildcard) Aurabolts

Pent lets out a bit of a squeak.

Susan: Oh this is gonna be good.

Shift: <Sure, bring it>

Your choices are: Jackal, Gaia, Rogue, Nightingale. One of the four may be in any category.

Pent: Okay so what's the continuity on uh... Knowing things?

Susan: I think we're in the same nontinuity as the smut so I know who one of those Aurabolts is for real and that might still be canon-canon.

Shift: <And I know that same one in actual canon.>

Pent: Okay! Uh... I need some time to think on this. Who's going first?

Shift: <Alright well here goes nothing. Kill Nightingale right off the bat.>

Pent: Savage...

Shift: <Fuck Jackal. He seems fun. Marry the other two, whatever.>

Shift
Fuck: Jackal
Marry: Gaia, Rogue
Kill: Nightingale


Susan: Alright cool my go. Fucking Gaia because she is just mmmm~! Costume like that she's probably got strong strap game. Also fucking Jackal... Yeah sure Nightingale for marry which unfortunately means Rogue goes down.

Susan
Fuck: Gaia, Jackal
Marry: Nightingale
Kill: Rogue


Pent: Which brings it down to me. I have thought on this and for purely professional reasons I am murdering Gaia and Jackal.

Shift: <Wiping out the entire leadership of the Aurabolts in one fell swoop.>

Susan: Leaving a power vacuum, devious.

Pent: And I'm marrying Rogue. There. Done.

Susan: Ahem.

Pent: Hm?

Shift: <Did you just put Nightingale in the Fuck spot? Wait no now that I think about it you're totally thirsty for your idealized 'absolutely beautiful and perfect and sexy' superhero OC...>

Pentigan
Fuck: Nightingale
Marry: Rogue
Kill: Jackal, Gaia


Pent: Can you not..?

Shift: <It's the truth ain't it? What we're three layers deep on FMK and you're ashamed on the idea that you're in love with your alt self?>

Pent: ... Whatever, we're done and I'm leaving.

Susan: You didn't have to say it like that Shift...

Final Results

Pentigan
Fuck: Fire, Dragons, Nightingale
Marry: Water, Air, Weremons, Rogue
Kill: Earth, Humans, Jackal, Gaia


Susan
Fuck: Water, Weremons, Gaia, Jackal
Marry: Fire, Earth, Dragons, Nightingale
Kill: Air, Humans, Rogue


Shift
Fuck: Water, Air, Weremons, Jackal
Marry: Earth, Humans, Gaia, Rogue
Kill: Fire, Dragons, Nightingale.


13

Re: FMK! (Warning: Risque, borderline NSFW)

The Rose Update

Rose: Is this really necessary?

Scarlette: I'm just curious! Things have got to be a bit different now than they were before you were split.

Rose: I guess. All right, hit me, it's been ages since I even read the early ones.

Scarlette: Right! Okay, so, first round was Jacob, Lucius, and Ever.

Rose: Oh, kill Lucius, fuck Jacob, marry Ever. Easy.

Rose
FUCK: Jacob
MARRY: Ever
KILL: Lucius


Scarlette: Wow, still totally in line with old Rose. Old Paula's answer didn't really change it?

Rose: Oh, you're actually gonna let me break the rules? Sweet. Fuck Ever, marry Ever, kill Ever.

-Scarlette blinks-

Rose
FUCK: Ever
MARRY: Ever
KILL: Ever


Scarlette: Ever specifically?

Rose: I'd kill Lucius long before he ever touches me. And it's about the chronological order, so my standards override old Paula being the most contrarian bitch she can be.

Scarlette: ...Knowing Ever, they probably wouldn't argue.

Rose: Exactly! Probable mutual agreement. It's a sign I'm a better person.

Scarlette: Mhm.

-...-

Scarlette: ...so--

Rose: If you quote me on that I'm gonna punch you.

Scarlette: Then you can expect my confidentiality! So, moving on to round 2.

Rose: Full-thread round 2, or just the ones old-mes have already answered?

Scarlette: Ooh, we should get everyone else back to answer the rest. But nah, just the ones that need comparing to. Anyway, speaking of Ever, next is the rest of the Memitoplex.

Rose: Right, that's... Pef, Brie, and who else?

Scarlette: Amanita.

Rose: Still don't really know who that is.

Scarlette: The purple one Kai's attracted to.

Rose: You have no idea how little that narrows it down. You could be talking about his coworker, the one who's a cop.

Scarlette: Oh yeah, Anabel! She's hot.

Rose: She's a cop.

Scarlette: She's literally the reason I have rights as a Faller, I'll forgive her. Also she's hot.

Rose: Traitor.

Scarlette: Damn right. Anyway! This is Amanita.

-Scarlette pulls up a photo.-

Rose: Oh, right, that Amanita. I'll kill her.

Scarlette: Oof, twice in a row again.

Rose: I mean, if Kai was around again, I'd say kill Brie, but it's not as funny when they're not around. And, like, Amanita's hot, but I don't think I'm her type, which is a damn shame because I'm a total snack. So either of the other two options would be super unfulfilling.

Scarlette: Okay, okay. The other two, then?

Rose: Uhhhh fuck. Let's see, I'd probably fuck Brie, and marry Pef.

Rose
FUCK: Brie
MARRY: PEFE!Every
KILL: Amanita


Scarlette: Different this time! Why's that?

Rose: What is this, a fuckin' documentary? Brie probably couldn't stand me past day 1, and Pef's an immoral scientist. I like immoral scientists, that's why I joined Cipher.

Scarlette: ...Was it really?

Rose: Fuck no, I joined Cipher because Ardos was a fuckin' groomer and I didn't know better. The immoral scientists were a bonus.

Scarlette: This is such a learning experience.

Rose: You asked for exclusives, you get exclusives, babe. So, what's next?

Scarlette: Villains! Titan, Carmilla, and Paula.

Rose: Oh, fuck yeah, I loved this one! I'm basically already married to Paula, so I'll stick with that. Titan's still an old man, so he goes in the Dead Cains pile. And of course, fuck Carmilla.

Scarlette: Nice. I think that's actually in line with old Paula, instead of old Rose, thinking about it.

Rose: A little character arc can go a long way in not wanting to kill yourself, it turns out. Still not fucking myself though, that's off the table.

Scarlette: Y'know what can be on the table--

Rose: Later.

-Scarlette winks.-

Rose
FUCK: Carmilla
MARRY: Paula
KILL: Titan


Scarlette: Okay, last one's the superhero double-feature.

Rose: Did you really not know that Lucy was the original Avenger?

Scarlette: He never mentioned anything about it when we were roommates! And I wouldn't have believed him one bit anyway.

Rose: You believed his flirting methods.

Scarlette: A broken clock is still right twice a day, and damn if it wasn't 11:01 somewhere. Anyway, two Avengers, Jackal, Gaia, Rogue, and Shingeko! Choose.

Rose: Marry Rogue and Shingeko. In all truth, peak partner material, still would fuck both of them if I had more options. Kill both Avengers, because it's funny and if I get a reputation as a serial killer I want to be an Avenger hunter specifically. And fuck Jackal and Gaia because I know for a fact that they're hot.

Rose
FUCK: Jackal + Gaia
MARRY: Rogue + Shingeko
KILL: Avenger v1 + Avenger v4


Scarlette: Now we're getting the real interesting ones, huh? I almost wish we had more, that was the last card I had.

Rose: Oh, damn. We've gotta set up a night to catch everyone up to all the other options.

Scarlette: I'll see if I can set something up.

Rose
FUCK: Jacob (Ever); Brie; Carmilla; Jackal + Gaia
MARRY: Ever (Ever); PEFE!Every; Paula; Rogue + Shingeko
KILL: Lucius (Ever); Amanita; Titan; Avenger v1 + Avenger v4


[Spectrum was here!]