Topic: Umbra's ORAS Demo Liveblog!
Umbra's ORAS Demo Liveblog!
-the curtains pull open to reveal Groudon and Kyogre-
Groudon: Greetings, puny humans!
Kyogre: Today we tell you the story of a Stalker With A Crush...
Groudon: And his unfortunate victim, Steven Stone.
Kyogre: Our story begins... With our very own author!
-cut to me in the ORAS protagonist's clothes-
Kyogre: And he is flying on a Latias with Steven Stone!
-I am suddenly doing so-
-to Steven- Hello, sexy~
Steven: Er... Look, there's our destination!
-We land in Mossdeep City-
Steven: Anyway, got a message from a professor I know that needs some help. Some thugs have been trying to steal his research. So we've got to go to the space center right now!
Me: Yes! We'll beat up those thugs together~
...Let's just go.
Groudon: Our heroes quickly made their way to the Mossdeep space center. But something wasn't right!
Mossdeep Space Center▾
Steven: OK, we're here. Now we-
-suddenly, two Magma grunts appear-
Magma Grunt 1: Suprise, motherfuckers!
Magma Grunt A: No one expects the Magma Inquisition!
Steven: That Monty Python reference was terrible. >:|
Me: I'll protect you, Stevie!
Magma Grunt A: Hey! I had dibs on the stunning male specimen!
Steven: Let's just fight. >_<
Me: AWW YEAH LET'S DO THI-
-realizes I have no Pokemon-
Er, Stevie? Little help, honey?
Steven: One, do not call me Stevie or honey. Two, have this Marshtomp.
Me: My favorite! You do care!
-I send out the Marshtomp. One of the grunts sends out a Poochyena-
Marshtomp: <Ooh, puppy!>
Marshtomp: <Aww, I don't wanna hurt the puppy...>
-KOs the Poochyena in one hit-
Magma Grunt 1: O_O
Magma Grunt A: Gah! It's too late! We already found the island with the Mega Evolving Pokemon!
-a scientist appears-
Scientist: Oh! Steven! Thank you for rescuing me!
Me: I helped!
Steven: Er, yes, you did.
Scientist: Thank you both, then! But the grunts have already taken our Mega Evolution research! They even know the location of a certain Mega Evolving Pokemon!
Me: We've got to stop them, Stevie!
Steven: Leave it to me. Er... Us. But I've got some prep to do so why don't you explore Mossdeep, Umbra?
Me: Sure thing, cutie!
Kyogre: And so our protagonist explored Mossdeep City. Highlights included:
-Tate and Liza are in front of the gym-
Tate: Oh no oh no what are we gonna do about the body?
Liza: OK, don't panic, we just gotta keep people out of the gy-
Me: Hi you two! What are you talking about?
Both: Er, nothing!
Me: Ooh, I bet you guys renovated the gy-
Both: AAAH DON'T GO IN
Me: ...OK. ._.
Woman: This is a special wishing rock!
Me: -looks at the rock-
Rock: I'm just a rock, dumbass.
Groudon: Finally, our protagonist reunites with Steven!
Me: I'm baaaack~
Steven: Gah! How did you find me?!
Me: Oh, I'll always be there for you~
Steven: ...Let's just find the Pokemon.
Kyogre: And so, our heroes flew by Latias to a mysterious island!
Steven: OK, we're here. Let's look for Teams Magma and Aqua.
-I step into the tall grass and find a Slakoth. Marshtomp finishes it off with Waterfall.-
-then, two Magma Grunts-
Magma Grunt A: Gah! Team Aqua beat us here!
Magma Grunt 1: Well, they are more stylish...
-sends out a Zubat. Marshtomp Rock Slides it to death-
-the other Grunt's Numel fares similarly-
Grunt 1: Gah! Stupid Team Aqua!
Me: I'm not Team Aqua.
Grunt 1: Eh?
Me: I'm here to protect that Pokemon!
Grunt 1: So like that girl?
-heads inside a cave to find a girl facing two Team Aqua grunts.-
Girl: Your fashion sense is terrible!
Aqua Grunt A: -sobs-
Aqua Grunt 1: Bah! You don't phase Team Aqua! And I totally rock my uniform! See my midriff?
Girl: -notices me- Ack! Umbra! Why are you here?!
Me: To save the Pokemon!
Girl: ...Just don't get in the way.
-The nearest Grunt sends out a Poochyena-
-Waterfall-hugs it, KOing it-
Marshtomp: <I feel funny...>
-starts glowing and evolves into Swampert-
Me and Swampert: Yay~
-the other grunt sends out a Carvanah, which bites Swampert-
-Mud Bombs it, KOing it-
Girl: ...Well, you took care of those grunts. But the bosses are ahead!
Me: Leave it to me!
-I head forward and find a muscular dude and a tubby dude arguing-
Tabitha the tubby dude: You there! Oversized brute! Clear the path!
Matt the muscular dude: You got a screw loose or something? Look at you, little Mahkuita man!
Tabitha: WHAAT? You compare me, Tabitha, the next chief Admin of Team Magma, to a Mahkuita?!
-At this point Swampert and I are sharing popcorn-
Matt: You're a funny dude! I love funny dudes! That's why I love my bro Archie! What say you and I have a battle?
Tabitha: You terrify me, brute. But very we-
Me: NOT SO FAST
-both of them stare at me-
Tabitha: ...You know what? Let's beat up this guy instead.
Matt: Good idea, bro!
-suddenly, Steven drops in from the ceiling-
Steven: AHA! Knew you creeps would be here!
Me: Stevie! You saved me!
Steven: -winces- Yes. Yes I did.
-hands me a Mega Bracelet and a Swampertite-
Use these so we don't get creamed.
Me: Jewelry! Now I know you love me!
-we challenge Tabitha and Matt to a battle!-
-they send out Camerupt and Sharpedo; I send out Swampert; Steven sends out a Shiny Metagross-
Me: MEGA SHINKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-I Mega Evolve Swampert-
Swampert: <Swampert SMASH!>
-Waterfalls Camerupt into submission-
-Steven also Mega Evolves his Metagross, which obliterates Sharpedo-
Tabitha: Gah! How could I lose to a stalker and some silver-haired pretty boy?
Matt: That was AWESOME, bros!
Tabitha: We will meet again!
Me: We did it Stevie! We beat the thugs! And your Metagross was awesome!
Steven: If I give you my Metagross will you leave me alone?
Steven: -sighs- Anyway, the Pokemon is up ahead.
Kyogre: And so the two head deeper into the cave and find a lone patch of grass.
Steven: It's probably in there.
-hands me some Pokeballs-
You should probably try and catch it.
Me: Ooh! I hope it's a Steelix!
-I enter the tall grass to find... A Glalie!-
Glalie: You thought it would be a Steelix but it was me, Glalie!
Glalie: ZA WARUDO
Swampert: <Hey! We're trying to be friends!>
-Ice Fangs Swampert-
Me: -tosses a Pokeball-
-wobble... Wobble... Click!-
-Nicknames the Glalie Dio-
Steven: Alright, let's go back.
Steven: Stevie, that adventure was wonderful! Now we can go on all sorts of adventures together!
Steven: -twitches- For Arceus' sake I already have a boyfriend!
-Steven's arm stretches to an absurd length and pulls in Wallace in his Emerald clothes-
Wallace: Shall we go?
Steven: Yes please.
Wallace: Great! I have something to show you!
-I sob as Swampert pats me and Dio looks on in disdain-
-The scene cuts back to Groudon and Kyogre-
Kyogre: Thus concludes our tale!
Groudon: Next time: Steven discovers-
-A scream is heard offstage-
Kyogre: ...Looks like that one is happening now.
Groudon: Let's go see!
-they exit as the curtains close-