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Topic: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

[spoiler]I am in a cracky mood, feel free to pile on silliness

Mandarin Island Medical College

-a Scyther is reporting to her professor for her latest Anatomy 203 grades-

Rosary: <How did I do?>

Professor: Fantastic work, as always! The details on these diagrams are so... lifelike. What did you use as a reference?

Rosary: <Your organs!> ^_^

Professor: O_O

-he looks down, noticing a thin surgery line on his chest-

H-how long has that been there?

Rosary: <Since last Tuesday!>

Professor: B-but- I never noticed-

Rosary: <Well, yeah, I used anesthesia. Just cutting you open with no painkillers would be a violation of the Hippocratic Oath!>

Professor: ...you make a valid argument. But it is important to gain consent before operating on patients, so I have to knock your grade from a 107 down to a 102.

Rosary: <Awwwwww.>

Professor: Consider it a learning experience. You'll be a great surgeon some day, regardless.

Rosary: <OK.> smile

School Quad

-Rosary flits out the door, meeting up with her trainer-

Basket: Hey Rosary! How was class?

Rosary: <OK. I got 5 points off my grade for cutting the teacher open though.>

Basket: Aww. Well, we all make mistakes, just be more careful in the future~

-she picks up Rosary and hugs her, as a Tropius flys down with a bunch of shopping bags on his back-

Tangerine: <Lot of good deals at the market, I got some extra chocolate and Rawst Berries!>

<Though, they heard there was a Scyther in the house and offered some Torchic nugget samples...>

Rosary: <You told them I'm a vegetarian, right>

Tangerine: <But of course.>

Rosary: <Good. And oooh, chocolate~>

Basket: Well, why are we sitting here? Let's get home and start on the Fruit Salad Mk. XVII!

Sanity is precious; use it sparingly.

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Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

In a large empty field somewhere

-a blue-haired and green-haired girl are teaming up against a pair of red-haired girls-

Mezzo: I can't believe you talked me into teaming up with you.

Noelle: Oh, come on! It'll be fun!

Jenna: Besides, like hell would I have paired up with either of you two.

Lily: Relax, Jen. Let's just do this battle.

-the four girls each send out Charybdis, Yuna, Fafnir, and Tifa respectively; Jenna taps on her Mega Ring, and it glows a moment-

Fafnir has Mega Evolved into Mega Charizard Y!


Noelle: Ooh! Guess I won't have to hold back then!

-Noelle taps on her Mega Earring, and it does the same thing-

Yuna has Mega Evolved into Mega Gardevoir!


Jenna: Fafnir! Cruel Ruin!

Fafnir: <This should be over quickly.>

-Fafnir flies into the sky, and turns into a ball of light that unleashes a storm of gigantic lasers on Mezzo's team-

Charybdis took 1250 damage!
Yuna took 3000 damage!


Noelle: Is that it?

Lily: Not a chance! Show them your Limit Break, Tifa!

Tifa: <You got it!>

|-------------------------------------|
|Hit♥|Hit♥|Hit♥|Yeah!|Hit♥|Yeah!|Yeah!|
|-------------------------------------|

-Tifa runs up to Yuna and performs a series of punches...-

Yuna took 463 damage!


-followed by a flip-kick on Charybdis-

Charybdis took 2158 damage!


-then a low kick on Yuna-

Yuna took 631 damage!


-followed by her suplexing Charybdis into the ground-

Charybdis took 3924 damage!


-then an uppercut on Charybdis which causes a dolphin to appear for no adequately explained reason-

Charybdis took 1962 damage!


-then she picks up Yuna, hurls her into the air, and slams her into the ground-

Yuna took 1024 damage!


-and then, she pulls back her fist a moment, and it glows-

Tifa: <And now for the final touch... Final Heaven!>

-then she throws one last punch at Charybdis, which causes a massive explosion as it hits-

Charybdis took 5052 damage!


-despite the massive amount of damage she took, she stays in the air-

Mezzo: Whoa, not bad. All right, Charyb! Payback time! Use Tera Flare!

Charybdis: <This is the end of you, worms.>

-Charybdis flies off into space, unfurls her wings, and unleashes a  gigantic laser upon the Fire and Fighting types, detonating in a huge explosion-

Fafnir took 9345 damage!
Tifa took 9999 damage!


Noelle: Yunie, show them what you can do! Summon Ark!

Jenna: What? They have a Summoner?

Yuna: <Yes...>

-Yuna raises her arms to the sky, and from the moon a Zekrom flies down; it first fires a targeting laser from its eye, then launches a barrage of missiles from its wings; after doing so, its horn glows a moment, and it unleashes a blast of electricity that causes an explosion visible from space-

Tifa took 9999 damage!
Fafnir took 19998 damage!
Tifa and Fafnir fainted!


Noelle: You're in trouble now, aren't you?

Jenna: We haven't even started yet.

-Jenna and Lily send out Iris and Grandleon respectively-

Lily: Show them what you've got! Lionheart!

Grandleon: <It will be done!>

-Grandleon kicks Yuna into the air, then unleashes a large series of slashes with his arms, each one hitting for 9999 damage; after doing so he pauses a moment, his blades glow, and he performs one last slash which explodes as it hits-

Yuna fainted!


Noelle: Eeep!

Mezzo: Relax, we've got this.

Jenna: I think not. Iris, you know what to do.

Iris: <...Yes.>

-a beam of light descends from the sky and lifts Charybdis up, sending her flying through space, where she encounters a giant Volcarona-

Iris: <...Burn.>

-which then erupts into a sun that Charybdis flies into with a giant explosion-

Charybdis took 10903 damage!
Grandleon was restored to full health!
Iris was restored to full health!
Charybdis fainted!


Noelle: Meeeep!

Mezzo: Stay calm. We can still do this.

-Mezzo and Noelle send out Muramasa and Caitsidhe respectively-

Mezzo: Omnislash!

Muramasa: <Understood.>

-one of Muramasa's arm blades extends into a giant sword, and she rushes at Grandleon, dealing a series of blows in a row with it, each one doing 9999 damage; at the end, she leaps into the air, and the tip of her sword glows brightly as she brings it down upon him-

Grandleon fainted!


Lily: Not good!

Jenna:  Iris, end it! Supernova!

Iris: <...Very well.>

-Iris summons a comet and causes it to impact with the sun, turning it into a supernova and destroying several planets along the way-

Muramasa took 19998 damage!
Muramasa fainted!
Caitsidhe took 7894 damage!
Caitsidhe is confused!
Caitsidhe is paralyzed!


Mezzo: Oh great...

Lily: What are you gonna do now, huh?

Noelle: It's not over! Cait, summon Zodiark!

Jenna: Wait, you have two Summoners?

Noelle: What's wrong with that?

Caitsidhe: <Okay~>

-Caitsidhe shakes his head a moment to clear it, then calls down a flying object from above; it lands in a pool of silver water under an eclipse, then floats out as a cocoon of destruction; the Yveltal unfurls its wings, and as it does so, they glow and the world around it shatters; it flies away through space and glows brightly, then causes an explosion that tears the universe apart-

Iris took 50000 damage!


Iris: <...Well done.>

Iris fainted!


Noelle: All right!

Lily: Aww, we were so close...

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Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

Mandarin Island Medical College, 12:03:42 am, Astronomy Session

Rosary: <Sorry I'm la- where is everybody?>

Adjunct Professor: Sorry, class is canceled; Jupiter got blown up.

Best get some sleep.

Rosary: <Oh...>

Sanity is precious; use it sparingly.

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Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

A local city -- The Day the Planets Went Kablooey

Diane: C'mon, c'mon! It's happening now!

Skye: I can only run up seventeen flights of stairs so fast!

-The two bird girls ascend their 17-story 17-room house as fast as they can, finally reaching the roof.-

Diane: Ah, finally! Isn't it pretty?

Skye: We missed the prettiest part, though...

Diane: Oh well. We can still watch the Mars meteors fall, right?

Skye: -smiles- Yeah, we can.

-They sit down on lawnchairs and watch the debris of the ex-planet rain down.-

[Spectrum was here!]

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Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

A Secret Lab Underground Beneath a Volcano On An Island Dominated by Dracosaurs with Laser Eyes

Jacob: -Is wearing a black labcoat and red gloves and is working on a big dish like machine- Mwuuuahahahahahaah! This time! THIS TIME NOTHING WILL STOP ME!

Regina: -Is sitting at a computer, bored- <Whatever you say, boss. I'll just... be over here. You know managing.>

Jacob: EXCELLENT! CONTINUE, REGINA! ..... And remember to actually buy the energy crystal of eternal malice this time. You know instead of wasting time on dating websites.

Regina: <Not like there's a lot of eye candy around here...>

Jacob: OF COURSE THERE ISN'T! THERE IS FIRE AND EVIL! MWUAHAHAHAH! ARGENTUM! Will we have the collector array working in time to harness the POWA of the Mars meteor shower?

Argentum: -The Metagross is wearing a set of insanely reflective glasses- <Eeeeheeheheh.... yessssssssssss ssssssssir. Iiiiiiiit will be rrrrrrrready..... heheheheheh....>

Jacob: GOOD! Now then, Regina did my Evil Science Monthly come in the mail today?

Regina: <Yeah, sure, here.> -A Magazine floats over to Jacob, the front of it highlights a new must-see breakthrough in evil lair refurbishing-

Jacob: And the mailman?

Regina: <Pest has him.>

Jacob: Excellent. All according to plan. Pest!

Pest: -Flaps in dragging a man dressed in stereotypical mailperson clothes- <MEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHH!>

Jacob: Yes I know this is the best part! Go on go shove him into the Discord pit!

Mailman: No please! I just deliver packages! Please! I have a child and two wives!

Jacob: I'll be sure to let them know you mysteriously vanished to go have an affair with some random man in Kalos! INTO THE PIT!

Pest: <MEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHE!> -Drags the Mailman off towards a steel square hole and shoves him in-

-When he goes thunk at the bottom, he looks up to find a Tyranitar walking out of a shadow towards him, with furious eyes-

Discord: <Yaaaaaaay cuddle teim~ :3>

-There's a long loud no escaping the pit as Jacob hums and continues working on his machines-

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Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

Mandarin Island, Basket's Flat

Tangerine: -is sunning himself in the light of the sun's supernova-

Rosary: <Hmm... "is it more effective to administer Rare Candies orally or intravenously? Justify your answer.">

Tangerine: <Duh, orally, who would want to put candy in a needle?>

Knock-Knock Knock!

Basket: Oh? Hello?

Girl Scouts: Hi! We're the Nidorina Troop, collecting money to rebuild the planets again! Would you like to buy some candy?

-they hold up a box of syringes filled with sugar water-

Basket: Hmm... well, I suppose it's a good cause.

-she scrapes around under the couch for loose gold nuggets-

Sanity is precious; use it sparingly.

7 (edited by Morpheus 2014-05-28 03:56:32)

Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

In an old Château on a cliff-side by Shalour

A shiny, female Meowstic runs into the library section of the old Chateau carrying a bag in her mouth. She runs and scampers around the Library trying to get to the height of her "trainer" who is sitting on tall pile of books, reading through a black-hard-covered book emitting a sickly green and purple aura and occasionally tossing some sort of regent into the bubbling cauldron.

Oddly enough, her trainer's skin is also green (apparently it's a side effect of investing way to much time into the arcane majicks, or so her trainer claims)

Constantin (?): -Standing up on the book pile, stirring the cauldron and tossing in what appears to be a bow of scales and some dust of some kind- Doble, doble, labeur et peine, brulez feu, et bouillonez chaudron~

Meowstic <Um... sir?>

The Warlock formerly know of Constantin slowly turns towards his familiar as his left eye twitches. Despite this he still manages to pet the Meowstic.

Constantin (?):  Oh my dear, lovable yet silly Constance~ You know that there is ONE THING I despise! a-  Outside of the sun A- Oh, and country music AND THAT'S BEING INTERRUPTED.

The Meowstic totters back a bit

Meowstic Constance <Ah! I'm sorry sir! I just got the regents you asked for>

Constantin (?):  IF YOU- (Beat) Oh yes, I forgot that I told you to fetch those for me. Thank you Constance for being such a deer friend.

Constance <I believe you mean "dear", Master Cincinnatus, sir!>

Constantin (?) Cincinnatus:  ...No, I'm pretty sure it's deer.

Constance -Rolling her eyes- <Whatever you say master>

Cincinnatus:  Now then~

Cincinnatus picks up the bag with his telekinesis and pulls out it's contents, which so happens to be a vial and a smaller bag!

Cincinnatus:  Ah! The final regents for my spells! Now I can into time travel an dimension walking!

Cincinnatus gives off a witches cackle as thunder and lighting strikes in the background.

Constance: <...You never pass up an opportunity to be overly dramatic, do you sir? Regardless, while it's all well and good you've got the final two regents for whatever spells you plan on using to make some poor hack in another universe miserable. You best get on with the cooking because I am hungry>

Cincinnatus:  -Pouting- I'M A ADULT! I don't need you to tell me what to doooooooooo!

Constance: <...Something tells me you haven't filled your Bees and Spontaneous Combustion quotas for today.>

Cincinnatus:  Alas, I have not.

Constance: <Well, I'll wait here while you go off and do that>

Cincinnatus:  You really mean it?

Constance: <Of course. I feel like your cooking wont be up to scratch until you have set a few more beehives on fire>

Cincinnatus:  Well then! Uno momento! AHAHAHA MAGIVESTIGIUM

Cincinnatus waves his wand and teleports away. Meanwhile Constance watches the clock pendulum, checks her watch and hums the Jeopardy! theme as she waits for her warlock to return.

Cincinnatus:  -Teleports back back in with a satisfied smile on his face- Aw man that felt good~

Constance: <Great, now you can get back to cooking our meal>

Cincinnatus:  Right-o! Well, the only thing that this brew needs  is well... something of a slimy consistency... green in colour... possibly amphibious in nature

Constance looks to the side of her where she spots a bowl of Politoed slime.

Cincinnatus:  I just don't know what at the moment...

Constance: <Like a bowl of Politoed->

Cincinnatus:  Not now Constance! I'm thinking! Anyway... something possibly aquatic and thick...

Meanwhile, Constance pushes the bowl of Politoed slime towards Cincinnatus who eyes it.

Cincinnatus:  -Smiling and picking up the bowl- LIKE POLITOED SLIME! Cincinnatus old boy, you are a genius!

Constance: <Indubitably>

Cincinnatus pours the bowl into the cauldron and stirs the pot for a few more minutes. After which, an Egg timer's "ding" can be heard.

Cincinnatus:  Ah! Dinner is served~

Constance: <Finally, I'm starving>

Cincinnatus puts his forearms into the cauldron and pulls out a perfectly roasted Dodrio. He has also lost all the flesh on his arms, holding up the plate with his now skeletal forearms.

Constance: <...Um, sir?>

Cincinnatus Oh, I'm well aware~ Corpus Vivificus!

The flesh grows back on his forearms and hands.

Cincinnatus: Now then, will you join me in the dining room?

Constance: <Wouldn't be happier>

Cincinnatus: Then tally ho, off we go!

Both Cincinnatus and Constance hop off of the tower of books and freefall for a moment, before levitating the rest of the way and landing safely on the ground. Cincinnatus catches the meal on the silver platter, before making his way to the dining hall with Constance in tow.

"Oh Bassy, I do love red the most. Hair, clothes, lipstick, I love them to be red. The more flamboyant a woman is, the more she's as beautiful as a poisonous flower, right?"

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Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

In a large field somewhere

-the four girls from before are now surrounded by a mob of angry astronomers-

Mezzo: Oh, come on! We only blew up, what, eight planets?

Noelle: And a universe.

Mezzo: Yeah, and that. Why are you making such a big deal about this again?

-the astronomers yell incomprehensibly at Mezzo, and one throws a telescope at her-

Mezzo: Ow!

Jenna: You know, can we just nuke them?

Noelle: Now, now, violence is not the answer.

Mezzo: What? Yes it is.

Lily: Yeah, every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.

Mezzo: Hey, why aren't we doing that instead?

Jenna: Good point. We should totally find that guy.

Noelle: -to the crowd- Don't worry, we've totally got this under control! We'll be fixing things right away!

-and so, the four girls set off in search of the longest-haired, prettiest, evilest guy they could find-

-the astronomers, seemingly satisfied with this excuse, returned to their cities, mindlessly patrolling back and forth and stopping to talk about constellations with anyone who stepped near them-

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Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

Somewhere, Maybe Hoenn

Ryklys: -is overseeing a large crane building a new mountain out of planet fragments plucked from space-

Yes... by building a new mountain range, we shall create a rain shadow, expanding the deserts! Then, all that water shall return to the seas, raising sea levels worldwide by millimeters!

Magma Grunt: Aqua! We cannot allow your desert-expanding plan to go forward! You leave us no choice but to build a new inland lake!

Ryklys: Fiends! Water belongs in the ocean!

I challenge you to Mario Kart!

Magma Grunt: I accept!

Rayquaza: <This is not the time for your petty squabbles about continental geography! There's a long-haired pretty boy out there responsible for destroying planets- you know, part of the sky!>

<You must aid the Four Heroes of Light in beating them up!>

Magma Grunt: But... Mario Kart...

Sanity is precious; use it sparingly.

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Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

Team Glacier's Castle

(some appropriate music for you)

-the Four Heroes of Light have arrived in the central chamber of this ice palace-

Lily: This had better be worth it. It took us hours to get past that stupid block sliding puzzle.

Jenna: Relax. This has to be our guy.

-as they walk into the room, they see a young man with long blue hair lounging about in a throne-

Pianis: And what could I possibly help you ladies with?

Noelle: Aha! Found you! You're the evil long-haired prettyboy responsible for blowing up the planets!

Pianis: What? I'm not evil. And besides, you did that.

Noelle: Nonsense! Let's see, you have long hair, you're bishie, you have a personal connection to two of the heroes including being an older brother, you have hair covering one of your eyes, you're an Ice user, and you were just slouching on your throne! You are clearly the evilest of evildoers! It's a fact!

Pianis: This is nonsense. You're just trying to pin your own crimes on me.

Mezzo: That can't be right because we're the good guys!

Pianis: Do you have any idea how that makes me feel inside...? Furious! Outraged! Sick with anger!

-Pianis gets up from his throne and three giant ice shards fall behind him; with a wave of his hand they shatter, revealing Giri, Boreas, and Shiva-

Mezzo: Battle time!

-Noelle, Jenna, and Lily send out Yuna, Fafnir, and Canis respectively-

-Mezzo moves to throw a Pokéball, but is stopped by Jenna-

Jenna: You know the rules. 3 party members at a time.

Mezzo: Whaaa? You're not gonna make me sit out of this! He's my brother! Kick Noelle out or something!

Jenna: Sorry, she's the healer. We need someone to.

Noelle: Yeah! Now go sit in the back row like a good kitty!

Mezzo: ...Can't believe this.

-Mezzo sits in the back row as requested-

Pianis: Now then, attack! Diamond Dust! Frostwave! Shatterheart!

-he points to each of his team in turn-

-Shiva acts first, sending out a wave of frost that freezes the whole team solid; she pauses a moment, then snaps her finger to shatter the ice-

Canis took 4837 damage!


Fafnir took 7343 damage!


Yuna took 7843 damage!


-next, Boreas dives into a large pool of water that appears spontaneously; he generates an icy spear, then sends it flying out of the water, which causes a huge splash that immediately freezes into a pillar of ice; it also shatters a moment later-

Canis took 2375 damage!


Fafnir took 5039 damage!


Yuna took 6532 damage!


-finally, Giri throws two balls of ice at Yuna; they create ice spikes that trap her upon hitting the ground-

Giri: <Eeee!>

-she then blows on the spikes, and they all shatter-

Yuna took 9999 damage!


-despite the massive attacks they just took, not one mon on the heroes' side faints-

Lily: Our turn!

-instead, all three activate Mega Evolution!-

Pianis: You wretched brats...

Lily: Grand Lethal!

-Canis sends out a burst of Aura lights, which transform into symbols as each causes a massive explosion of Aura-

Giri took 39996 damage!


It doesn't affect Shiva...


Boreas took 19998 damage!


Jenna: Get in there and show them a Giga Flare!

Mezzo: Tera Flare is better...

-the piece of ice the three mons are standing on is lifted up into the air, where they find a Mega Charizard Y waiting for them; he fires a beam of flame that tears the chunk of ice apart and sends them crashing back to the ground-

Giri took 19998 damage!


Shiva took 19998 damage!


Boreas took 9999 damage!


Noelle: Yunie! Finish them off with an Eschaton!

-Yuna flies out into space, then reveals a cannon from below her "dress", which fires a beam of light back down to Earth; it strikes all three mons with a massive, brilliant explosion-

Giri took 9999 damage!


Shiva took 9999 damage!


Boreas took 9999 damage!


Overkill!
Giri, Shiva, and Boreas fainted!


Pianis: Hm hm... ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Jenna: What are you laughing about? You lost.

Pianis: You may have defeated me, but my evil plan goes on unabated! My master has arisen once again!

Mezzo: Hey! You said you weren't evil!

Pianis: I lied, obviously. What, did you really think I was just going to tell you I was a villain?

Noelle: I knew it!

Pianis: But don't you see? It's all over! You and your kind have lost! This world and everything in it now belongs to my master! And he will create the perfect, eternal winter!

-Pianis disappears from sight, and the whole castle begins to shake-

Mezzo: Great. Now what?

Lily: Guess we've got to beat his boss too.

-a few icicles from the ceiling start falling to the floor-

Noelle: Guys! We need to get out of here! I think he was a load bearing boss!

Jenna: Now I really wish we had a warp spell.

-the four run out of the collapsing castle as quickly as their legs can take them-

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Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

-what else is new? Joseph and Samantha are having one of their arguments, with Munn mediating between them-

Joseph: You're being mean! Sweetie, tell Samantha she's being mean. 3:<

Samantha: I'm not being mean, I'm being honest. That is the single most flamboyant coat I've seen in my entire life.

Joseph: But you don't mean "flamboyant", do you? Huh?

Munn: Will you two stop? We should focus on trying to fight the real enemies here.

Samantha: Who may those be?

Munn: Everyone! big_smile

Joseph: Sweetie, don't start having those killing dreams again...^^;

Samantha: What killer dreams? You mean you're dating a soci...a socio...a...

-her expression shifts from a sour scowl to a look of spacy forgetfulness-

Samantha: Uh...line?

-this prompts the sweet little Joseph to explode-

Joseph: You stupid little Miltank!

-he stands up, indignantly, and points right at her-

Joseph: Richard? Richard, I want someone better to act alongside me.

-Richard, a clearly beleaguered looking black man with a pencil behind his ear, sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose-

Richard: We've been over this, Joseph. Samantha's the best you're going to get, so you're going to be civil with her. Do you know that that means?

Joseph: Of course I do! I doubt that redheaded simpleton knows her own name!

-this sets Samantha very much on edge-

Samantha: You take that back r-right now!

-Joseph wheels around and immediately mocks her, in a high-pitched tone-

Joseph: "Take that back right now!" Sweetheart, just because everyone else on the fucking set tolerates you doesn't mean I have to. What you have to do is learn your damn lines, put some more inflection in your lines, and get a hold of yourself! Do you see me overreacting like that when someone yells at them?

Munn: I see you overreacting for a lot of reasons, Joe.

-Joseph gives a rather saccharine, yet somehow sincere, smile to Munn-

Joseph: Oh? Like what, sweetie?

Munn: Well, uh...that.

Joseph: I take my art seriously!

Munn: Every line change that diminishes your role...

Joseph: What? I'm a star! They have me on top of the marquee for a reason!

Munn: When Mezzo took all the lemon lolli-

Joseph: THAT BLUE HAIRED BITCH SHOULD HAVE KNOWN MY DAMN TERRITORY!

Richard: But she didn't, so you pitched a fit til we replaced her with Samantha, and now you're complaining about her. You know, there are a lot of other people like you that we could hire that are a lot less trouble.

-Joseph freezes and glares daggers at Richard-

Joseph: You wouldn't dare.

Richard: Oh yes! We could get Robin to replace you, or even Maxwell! They're both white-haired, they can both act like your character. A white haired hug box could act like your character, this isn't Hamlet. And we could replace Munn with...oh, say, Lucius?

Joseph: Oh, that miserable bastard! Didn't he have an eye out for the redhead tart?

-this prompts Samantha to start shaking from her spot, tears flowing. As though on cue, a blonde woman wearing an eyepatch walks out hurriedly to calm her, lightly petting her hair and hushing-

Kirsten: Ssssshhh...it's OK, he's like that a lot, he's temperamental, that's what they say...believe me, experience comes with this kinda stuff...

Samantha: R-r-really...?

-Joseph is still unimpressed-

Joseph: Alright, fine. I'll deal with her if you can tell the frog lady to keep a short leash on her damn spiders.

-a Galvantula skitters across the stage, causing Joseph to recoil in terror-

Joseph: ALYS!

-the gaunt, corpselike woman clicks after the bug-type-

Alys: Come back to mommy, sweetheart! We still haven't made our calender!

12

Re: TPAAW - Topsyturvy Portrayals Allegedly Adapting WAAPT

The Macraul Estate

Pianis: Master! Forgive me!

Masked Matron: My, my. Much misery manifests meeting me.

Pianis: I tried everything I could, but they still prevailed!

Masked Matron: My minion... multiple mistakes made. Must mend.

-The masked matron hears many voices drawing near-

Mezzo: Fuck that puzzle with the clock.

Lily: The one with the Latin words was worse.

Jenna: That's the same puzzle.

Noelle: No it's not. Besides, the weights one was even more annoying.

Mezzo: Ugh, who cares. At least we're at the end of this Arceusdamned dungeon, I think.

Pianis: They're here! Master, you should flee!

Masked Matron: Madness.

-the four girls burst in-

Noelle: Aha! We're here to put a stop to all the evil you've committed, fiend!

Lily: Yeah! And fix the planets being blown up!

Pianis: You... how dare you? Master, we must--

-the masked matron places her hand over Pianis' mouth-

Masked Matron: Mind manners, Morendo. Mistress moves.

Pianis: But--

Mezzo: Who are you anyway?

-the masked matron lets out a small laugh-

Masked Matron: Mezzopiano Morendo. Much malice may mark moments...

-and removes her mask, revealing a blue-haired woman who bears quite the resemblance to Mezzo-

Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito: ...Mother.

Lily: Mother? What?

Jenna: Okay, could you cut it out with the damn M words gimmick? It's way too annoying.

Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito: If you insist.

Pianis: Master Mimi, these fiends seek to undo you and everything we've worked for! You must--

-Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito snaps her finger, and a spear falls from the ceiling, killing Pianis instantly-

-Noelle winces-

Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito: Don't tell me you weren't also sick of that toady's prattling.

Jenna: He deserved that.

Mezzo: Wait, wait, hold on. I'm confused. What did you mean, mother? Are you some sort of time traveler?

Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito: I meant exactly what I said. But worry not, you'll be gone soon.

Noelle: Yeah, I'm betting time travel.

Lily: And you're the power behind the Macraul family?

Mimi Mia Mornedo-Memito-Macraul: They're just more pawns in my scheme. Fear not. Once it's complete, all will be understood.

Lily: Yeah, well we're not gonna let that happen! Let's fight!

-Lily draws a Pokeball... followed by Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito-Macraul snapping her finger, freezing her in place-

Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito-Macraul: Time is such a fickle thing, wouldn't you say, mother?

Mezzo: Huh?

Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito-Macraul: Always going back and forth, splitting into so many different timelines, so many possibilities. Thus, a solution was needed. The plan was set in motion: Time Compression.

Jenna: Wait, wait. What is Time Compression?

Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito-Macraul: It's... Time Compression. That's what it is. It's the absolute state of being. The perfect existence. The compression of time.

Noelle: So that means you went back in time to activate Time Compression so that you could return to your proper future? But if future Mezzo is your mom, then what's to stop us from preventing you from ever being born, much less turning to evil as the secret Macraul matriarch?

Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito-Macraul: I know you won't because I'm here now, and I'm here now because I've already set these events in motion in the future, which is also the past. And when the past becomes the future, then you can't change the future without also changing the past, which will then change into a new future which becomes a new past.

Noelle: Wait... but if you change the future, you change the past... then... Chaos will be unleashed, and...

-an X symbol appears on Noelle's eyes, and then she falls to the ground-

Mezzo: What did you just do?

Mimi Mia Morendo-Memito Macraul: Changed the future. Now, watch as I activate Time Compression!

-she holds her hands to the sky, and the walls of the estate gradually m e l t  a w a y

.

..

...

M

time





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The Macraul Estate
The Mac
The Macrendo

Mezzo: Iuhlatviemneociidaeiaswthiamte'slgyomianggeon.



Mimmy Mezzo Maria Macrendaul



Time Compression is





l i t t l e  m  o  n  e  y







This is your story. It all begins here.

No one wrote:

I Am At The Center Of Everything That Happens To Me







Team JLMN

"Jumilemon? How would that make any sense?"




It's easy, nothing makes sense.


[DATA EXPUNGED]


MMMMM


Party like it's 1999

Party like it's 199X

Party like it's XXXX





Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.