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Topic: Random One-Shots From the Lives of the Morendo Family

Castelia City, December 5, 9 years ago

-a light snow falls on Castelia City as a young boy walks up to the Casteliacone stand-

-he has bright green eyes, and his blue hair goes down to about his shoulders-

Clerk: Oh, hey there, Pianis! What can I get you today?

Pianis: One Casteliacone, please. And with as many toppings as you've got. It's my birthday today!

Clerk: Oh, really? So what are you now, 9?

Pianis: Not anymore! I've turned 10 today.

Clerk: Really? You know, that's when most kids start on trainer's leave.

Pianis: Yeah, I know. My parents are gonna get me a Pokémon soon, but I don't know when.

Clerk: Well, good luck in advance.

-the clerk hands Pianis a cone of ice cream; he moves to lick it, when suddenly it sprouts a pair of eyes!-

Casteliacone: <Eeeek! Please don't eat me!>

Pianis: Ack! What is this?

Clerk: Huh. Oh, sorry. That's a Pokémon called Vanillite. They hide out in the freezer sometimes.

Pianis: Vanillite, huh...

-Pianis places a hand on the Vanillite, then withdraws it suddenly-

Pianis: Cold!

Clerk: Uh, yeah. They're Ice types. Their whole body is made out of ice.

Vanillite: <But that doesn't mean I'm just some snack...>

Pianis: Wow, I didn't even know about that. ...You mind if I keep him?

Vanillite: <So long as it's not in your belly, sure...>

Clerk: Uh, sure. We have enough trouble with them as it is. Here's your cone, by the way.

-the clerk hands over a real Casteliacone-

Clerk: And say hi to your sister from me!

Morendo family residence, some time later

-Pianis walks inside, the Vanillite following behind-

Pianis: I'm home!

Vincent: Welcome back, Pianissimo!

Mia: Oh, it's so good to see our birthday boy here! But what's that you have with you?

Pianis: It's a Pokémon I found at the ice cream stand today. You think I could keep him?

-meanwhile, the Vanillite is speaking to the Morendo parents' mons-

Melody: <So what do you do?>

Vanillite: <Um, mostly I just hang around in cold places.>

Serenade: <But do you sing? Do you play an instrument?>

Vanillite: <Uh, no...>

Mia: Why, certainly! You are old enough to be a trainer by now.

Pianis: Cool!

-at this point, Pianis' younger siblings appear-

Mezzo: Where's the cake? Where's the ice cream? You've gotta have cake with ice cream, it just doesn't work with one or the other.

-and notice the Vanillite-

Mezzo: Eee! Ice cream!

Pianis: Wait, no!

-Mezzo has already licked the Vanillite, causing her tongue to get stuck-

Vanillite: <Aaaaaa! Help!>

Mia: Oh dear... someone's a little eager.

Mezzo: Mmph!

Forte: You're stupid, sis.

Fortis: -gigles- Silly Piano!

Some time later, after the Vanillite has been separated from Mezzo's tongue

Mia: So you're going to be an Ice type trainer then?

Pianis: Yeah, I think so. I just couldn't leave this little guy behind.

Vanillite: <Yay!>

Vincent: An excellent idea! Ice makes a wonderful chiming sound, you know!

Pianis: Uh...yeah.

Mia: Anyway, here's our gift to you.

-they present Pianis with a handful of Pokéyen, 5 Poké Balls, and a backpack full of traveling gear-

Vincent: You've got a big journey ahead of you, Pianissimo!

Pianis: Yeah, but I think he needs a name first.

Mia: Oh, how about Nocturne? Or Ballade?

Pianis: No... I think I have one in mind.

-Pianis looks out the window at the falling snow-

Pianis: Yukikaze. Snow wind. Because that's what I want him to be.

Vanillite Yukikaze: <It sounds hard to remember.>

Vincent: Well, it's not what I would call him, but it is your choice, son.

The following day

-Pianis is standing at the door of the Morendo household, his family gathered around him-

Forte: How come he gets to go off on an adventure and we don't, huh?

Mia: You'll get to when you're older, dear.

Mezzo: Aww, I bet you're gonna get so much candy now. Can you send some back to me?

Pianis: I'll see what I can do.

Fortis: Bye, Pianis!

Vincent: Have a wonderful journey!

Mia: And don't forget to write back!

Pianis: I won't.

And so, the young Pianissimo Morendo and Yukikaze took their first step into the snow outside, and into the life of a Pokémon Trainer.

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Re: Random One-Shots From the Lives of the Morendo Family

[spoiler]Warning: Heavy misogyny, death

Castelia City, on the roof of a tall building

-Fortis, wearing a blue dress, is sitting on the edge, dangling her legs while the boy she invited up is sitting next to her-

Fortis: Isn't the view nice?

Boy: Yeah... But anywhere's nice when I'm with you.

Hano Grand Resort, beach, some time ago

Boy: Please! I truly am in love with you! And now that you're 16 you're old enough to be my perfect waifu!

Fortis: Oh my gosh...

Top of the building

Boy: You're the only one who can understand.

Fortis: Understand what?

Boy: Females these days have been ruined. Now they just want to ride the alpha male carousel and not actually date the guys who care about them... and then feminism came along and turned them into a bunch of whiny fat blue haired bitches.

A hotel room, a few days ago

Mezzo: You're gonna be dating him? Fortis, please don't do this. It's a terrible idea. He might be sweet to you at first but trust me, guys like that are scum.

Fortis: I... it's okay, Piano. I know what I'm doing.

Top of the building

Boy: They don't know how to properly submit to a man and instead they spend their best years on the carousel until they hit the wall and then try desperately to leech off of some poor beta male. But by then they're all used up, and no one wants a used woman. At least I have a pure innocent virgin to myself.

Fortis: Uh huh...

Boy: It'd be so much better if we could all just get our own cloned waifus. Then we could throw all these degenerate defective females away.

-Fortis stands up and steps back a little-

Boy: I think every man deserves a perfect waifu like you. One who's properly submissive and cute and has that beautiful smile...

-the boy stands up, then turns around to see Fortis right behind him-

-she smiles sweetly at him, the brightest smile she's ever shown...-

-and then pushes him off-

Boy: Wha--

-he screams as he falls, then hits the pavement with a sickening "crack", dead on impact-

-a Mandibuzz flies to Fortis' side-

Fortis: ...I did it.

Condy: <Finally. I thought we'd never be rid of him.>

-Fortis clings to Condy as they fly away-

Somewhere in Kalos, a little bit later

-Fortis walks toward an egg-shaped object, now wearing a red and black dress-

-as she does, the egg unfolds revealing itself to be a particular Y-shaped bird-

Yveltal: <I can tell by the expression on your face that you succeeded.>

-Fortis nods-

Fortis: It was just a little push. I gave him what he deserved.

Yveltal: <Then you are ready...>

-a beam of red light extends from the Yveltal's wings, and strikes Fortis on the arm-

-she gasps in pain slightly, and as the light recedes a sigil of the letter Y appears-

Yveltal: <...my new herald.>