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--V.S.
WAAPT@tropi.us Legacy → WAAPT: In-Universe → Herbert40k's Wrap-Up Thread
"You make it sound like I'm trying to corrupt your or something." said Sakura, with a mock sigh.
-Lucius lazily cocks an eyebrow.-
Lucius: Would you rather I attempted to resist your efforts to foist a hedonistic lifestyle upon me, o temptress?
"You could at least put it in a nicer way."
-Lucius breathes out through his nose and leans back again.-
Lucius: Surely you've dealt with me long enough to know that I don't really do "nice". Not when it matters, anyway.
"Is that so? Are you mean to little kids too, poor things."
Psyche shrugs. ~Nice nurses, cute doctors, resurfacing of repressed emotional trauma, shitty hospital food, you know the works.~
-Lucius raises his hands up in the air.-
Lucius: You've got me there. I'm really not good with kids. I can still remember trying to play trainer for a baby Helioptile that Crewe asked me to take care of. I think I ended up traumatising the little bugger.
Lucius: ...Forgive my assumptions, but it sounds like this trip didn't do you much good.
Sakura winces "... Well, have you met Aline?"
Psyche shrugs. ~I dunno, I'm on some new medication that's supposed to help, I guess we'll see in a couple of weeks. Said I had something called Borderline Personality Disorder or something. And while I dislike labels, they have their uses if it means I don't, you know, do something stupid and reckless.~
-Lucius nods.-
Lucius: Yup. And I ended up traumatising her with my account of what happened back in Orre. I seem to end up traumatising kids a lot for some reason.
-Lucius blinks at Psyche.-
Lucius: ...Borderline Personality Disorder? Like what I have?
Sakura raises an eyebrow "Really? She doesn't look traumatized, at all. In fact she's in town in a family trip and she seems to be doing really well."
-Lucius looks vaguely surprised.-
Lucius: Is she? Huh. I've been too busy dealing with Neo-Galactic's hit squads to pay attention to people coming and going.
"Yes, it was her birthday so her family brought her on a trip as a gift. She even got a few gifts from Dune and Deziree."
Psyche blinks. ~Well, the doc did say it was more likely to run in families. Makes sense.~
Lucius: Well, good to know that I clearly didn't traumatise her that badly, then.
-He tugs at the end of his scarf idly.-
-Lucius glances down at his feet.-
Lucius: I first got diagnosed with it when I was a kid. Titan brought in all kinds of therapists after what happened to Herbert, all of them trying to get me to be normal again, never once considering that I might not be the one that needed help... but yeah, I've got pretty much all the symptoms. Emotional intensity, impulsive behaviour, increased reliance on interpersonal relationships...
-He looks back up at Psyche.-
Lucius: ...You're actually the first person I've told about this. Nobody else has ever thought to ask, and I didn't want to mention it.
"Not everybody can deal with children well, but Aline seems to be fond of you, or at least she made a few drawings of you."
-Lucius blinks.-
Lucius: ...She did?
Sakura nods "Aline is an artist so she often draws in her spare time, you seem to be one of her recurring choices of what to draw. I even saw a drawing of you two cooking together."
Psyche nods. ~I understand completely. Do you want to talk about it?~
-Lucius can't seem to decide if he should be flattered or disturbed.-
Lucius: ...That girl really needs to pick a better role model. Though that reminds me that I never did take her up on her offer of cooking lessons...
-Lucius shrugs.-
Lucius: Sure, why not? Keeping it all bottled up inside probably isn't healthy...
-He sits down and crosses his legs.-
Lucius: ...It terrifies me sometimes, how quickly I can oscillate between looking up to someone and hating their guts. That's always what screws me up the most. More often than not I end up idolising and detesting someone at the same time, and I just can't decide how I'm supposed to feel. Back in Orre was probably the best example... I had no idea how to feel about Duke after he'd been Shadowed. One day I loved him, I'd do anything for him, the next I hated him for treating me like shit, wanted to tear out his fur and scream in his face and tell him how much I hated him for the pain he'd caused me... even now I still feel that urge rising to the surface occasionally. It sounds bipolar, but it's not that simple, because I'm feeling both love and hate at the same time and I've got no idea which one to express... you know what I mean?
"I wouldn't say you're a role model exactly and if you are you likely aren't the only one. She seems to hold Dune and Deziree in high regards as well. It's almost like you're complaining that she likes you."
-Lucius frowns.-
Lucius: There's not a lot of reasons to like me. I'm not a likeable person.
"There you go again..." said Sakura, sighing.
-Lucius starts tugging on the end of his scarf again.-
Lucius: Don't get me wrong, I know that there's people who do like me. But I've usually given them some kind of reason to do so. Something that makes them willing to tolerate my intolerable behaviour. It's like I always say - I care about what people do, not what they say or how they act. And I haven't really done anything for Aline. With any luck, I'll never have to.
"You don't need to do something for her so she can like you. Maybe she sympathizes with you because of everything you went through, maybe it's because you were able to save Duke, or maybe she just finds you enjoyable to interact with. She's a sociable girl."
WAAPT@tropi.us Legacy → WAAPT: In-Universe → Herbert40k's Wrap-Up Thread
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