You are not logged in. Please login or register.
Devel Note: This forum will go read-only mode late Apr 2021, to be replaced by the New WAAPT Forum. See this announcement for more details.
--V.S.
WAAPT@tropi.us Legacy → WAAPT: In-Universe → Herbert40k's Wrap-Up Thread
Lucius: Not really... I don't feel like doing much of anything other than lying in bed all day...
-An awkward silence hangs over the room as he takes another sip of coffee before addressing Duke.-
Lucius: ...You were in it, by the way.
"Not too hard to figure that out. You're living with me after all, and I'm the source of a lot of your trauma." said Duke, calmly taking a sip of coffee and then sighing "It was my Shadow self, wasn't it?"
Recette just stays silent, looking uncomfortable.
-Lucius nods slowly, staring into his coffee.-
Duke sighs again "If only I hadn't been so careless and let myself be captured, none of that would've happened." he then goes back to drinking his coffee with a sorrowful expression.
-Lucius speaks up.-
Lucius: ...That wasn't your fault. None of us could've seen that coming... known what that bastard had in mind for us...
"Yet things wouldn't be this bad if I had been more prepared. No matter whose fault it is, you're still traumatized and going through a lot of paranoia and all of it could've been prevented if I was more careful."
Lucius: ...Think about what I've dealt with over the last few days, Duke. Think about what Titan did to me and my friends even before I set out on my Pokemon journey. Think about all the death I saw back in Ransei. Do you really think I'd still be a model of sanity even if Allen hadn't singled us out to be the actors in that sick play of his?
"Even if you still wouldn't have been in a perfect state of mind, if I could've prevented what happened in Orre, then at least I could be someone for you to trust, instead of having you like you are right now, having nightmares where I keep tormeting you and being afraid of me backstabbing you."
-Lucius sighs, still not looking directly at Duke.-
Lucius: ...What's the point in blaming yourself for what that monster used you for? If anything, what happened to me was my fault... maybe if I hadn't been such a shitty friend, then you wouldn't have been so keen to torture me as a Shadow...
Duke raises an eyebrow "I don't think you ever did anything to hurt me before that happened. At least nothing I would hold against you."
-Lucius suddenly stands up, knocking his remaining coffee aside and spilling it all over the carpet.-
Lucius: Then why? Why was it me that you took particular pleasure in torturing? Why was I the one that you drove to the brink of despair time and time again? Why were my efforts to try and save you met with but abuse and contempt, even though you still had nothing but respect for Lyuri? There must have been something, some kind of reason... why, Duke? What did I do wrong?
-His last sentence sounds almost pleading.-
Duke is silent for a while and then looks down "... Honestly, I wouldn't know how my mind was working at the time, but I think I would've treated anybody else the same way, not just you. It just happened that you were the only one that ran into me in that state. I don't know why Lyuri was different, maybe it was because I've known her for longer, maybe because I have more memories of her, maybe it was because of our relationship... I don't know."
He sighs
"I'm sorry Lucius. I never wanted any of that to happen. I don't want to hurt you. You've already gone through more than enough suffering so I just want to be there to help you recover and be happy again."
He then looks up at him, his expression undecipherable
"You call yourself a shitty friend, but I think that would apply more to me. After all, I'm never there when it matters and in the end I hurt you more than help."
-Lucius is silent for several moments. Eventually, he sits himself back down again, looking pale but somewhat more composed.-
Lucius: No, Duke, I... I'm glad you're here. I just... gah, I'm such an idiot... you didn't need to hear any of that, and yet I still made you feel terrible about yourself just because I can't control my own big mouth. I don't deserve friends like you...
Recette speaks up before Duke can say anything in response
"<You two... You're friends right? Doesn't the fact that you're both beating yourselves up because you think a bad friend proof of that? I mean... If you didn't care about each other neither of you would be like that.>" she said, looking a bit hesitant.
"Lucius, just like how you made me promise that I wouldn't hide anything from you anymore, I don't want you to hide anything from me. If you have something to say to me, any doubts you have that you must know, good or bad, I'm going to listen and answer and not get upset with you, but it has to work both ways, if we want to have an equal relationship we'll both have to be honest with each other." said Duke.
-Lucius appears to be reluctant to continue for a few seconds before speaking again in a low voice.-
Lucius: ...Do you want me to admit that Titan was right, then?
Duke raises an eyebrow "I'm afraid you lost me."
-Lucius continues to avoid Duke's gaze.-
Lucius: Back in Vien Forest, you told me that Titan thinks I only stick by your side because I'm scared of what you'll do to me if I don't. I didn't want to say anything at the time, because I didn't want to admit how close to the mark the stupid old bastard was, but I am scared of you, Duke. I... I try not to let it get in the way of our friendship... but every time you touch me, or get angry, or even raise your voice, it reminds me of what you're capable of doing to me and I... I...
-He trails off, cowering slightly as if subconsciously afraid of being struck.-
Duke sighs, but keeps a mostly calm expression and Lucius might notice that there isn't a single hint of anger from him "... Lucius, if you don't want to be near me anymore, it's fine. I'll leave you be. I'm not entirely surprised with this, what I did to you was awful and I doubted you'd ever want to see my bad side. Still, I don't want you to feel like you're being forced into being my friend. I can disappear from your life if it makes you more comfortable, I don't mind."
-Lucius shakes his head with surprising vigour.-
Lucius: No, that's not what I meant at all! I... when I told you that I was glad you were here with me, I meant it. After what happened with Sarah, you're probably the closest thing I have to a best friend. I... I just wish I could forget about what happened, and go back to the way things were before... back when we were friends with none of this awful, toxic paranoia between us...
-He bows his head.-
Lucius: ...But that's never going to happen, all because of me and those little doubts that live in the back of my head, telling me that history could easily repeat itself...
"I can't make you forget what happened, but... Life is full of doubts, you might think you'll be okay going somewhere but then you could get robbed or something and it brings hesitation, but if we give in to doubt we won't get anywhere, we need to keep going forward despite the risks and trust that nothing will happen or be prepared for the situation in case it does happen. You already saw me as a Shadow Pokémon, you went against me and won. I've already gone through the experience of becoming a Shadow, so I probably would be able to control myself better. Either way, if we found ourselves in that same situation, things wouldn't go that same way, all things considered, it would likely have a better outcome. But unless it happens, we shouldn't worry about it, we should just keep going ahead. That's all I can say to you about this matter."
Lucius: That's... not really reassuring at all... but thanks for trying to cheer me up, at least. Even if it didn't really work.
-He sighs, then looks up at Duke.-
Lucius: Changing the subject somewhat... you said that you weren't going to hide anything from me anymore, but you were pretty evasive when I asked you what you'd been doing back in Vien Forest. I didn't press the matter, because I was trying to hide something myself, but now that I've been honest... I guess I ought to repeat my question.
"I was? But there really hasn't been much happening these days..." said Duke, until it dawns on him "Oh, right. There was something I had forgotten about."
-Lucius raises an eyebrow slightly.-
Lucius: Well...?
"Remember that you invited me and Lyuri to join your superhero team and we declined? Well, I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this." he gives a small smile.
-Lucius folds his arms.-
Lucius: I had heard, yes. I was just trying to get you to stop keeping it from me, and hoping to hear your reasoning for declining my offer before going on to do the exact same thing independently a couple of months later.
WAAPT@tropi.us Legacy → WAAPT: In-Universe → Herbert40k's Wrap-Up Thread
Powered by PunBB, supported by Informer Technologies, Inc.