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--V.S.
WAAPT@tropi.us Legacy → WAAPT: In-Universe → The (Non-canon) Adventures of Shieldmaiden and the Auric Avenger
-Lucius blinks in confusion.-
Lucius: ...Let go of what?
Maul: ~Translation: "Let's go."~
Lucius: Oh, right. Wow, something Maul said actually made things easier to understand. What kind of weird parallel universe are we living in?
Maul: ~One where you're not very bright.~
-Before Lucius can protest, the two are blipped right back to Rasp Cavern.-
Crewe: He's dumb in ev'ry universe.
-she is content to lay on the floor of Rasp Cavern once they arrive-
-Lucius jabs Crewe with his foot.-
Lucius: Just for that, you're taking first watch tonight. Assuming that you can get your lazy ass off of the floor long enough to get your costume on, of course.
-Crewe waves a hand in his vague direction-
Crewe: Whatevs. S'not night time yet. Stop bein' a jerkface, jerkface.
-Boots continue to make contact with Crewe's ribs.-
Lucius: It will be night-time pretty soon if you keep sleeping for much longer. Besides, we really ought to get some training done today. You know, to keep us in shape and everything. Unless you want to put on even more weight.
-Crewe seizes his boot and attempts to yank his leg out from under him-
-Lucius is brought down onto the stone cavern floor next to Crewe.-
Lucius: Oof! See, now you're moving! I didn't know it was that easy to get you motivated. Maybe I ought to insult you more often.
-Beat.-
Lucius: ...On second thoughts, that sounds like a really bad idea. Assuming that I want to live to see my eighteenth birthday, at any rate.
-Crewe reaches over to pat whatever part of him she can reach without moving-
Crewe: Good boy.
-Lucius sighs, then hauls himself to his feet, grabbing Crewe by the hand and pulling her up with him.-
Lucius: You know, I never thought I'd be in a relationship where I wasn't the lazy one.
-Crewe makes no effort to help him, and drops an arm around his shoulder to collapse against him as soon as she's standing-
Crewe: 'M not lazy. Y'just woke m'up too early.
-Lucius flails.-
Lucius: It's mid-afternoon! I'm not going to start having to force-feed you coffee in the mornings, am I?
-Crewe sticks out her tongue, making a face-
Crewe: Bleeeeeh. Coffee's gross.
Lucius: So find another way to wake yourself up in the mornings! That way I won't have to start hooking you up to a drip and pumping caffeinated drinks into your bloodstream!
Maul: ~Or I could just put you two back to sleep.~
Lucius: ...How would that help?
Maul: ~It wouldn't, but at least you'd both have an excuse to lie in.~
Crewe: Shuddup. 'M nocturnal.
-she gives Maul a thumbs up-
Crewe: I like that plan.
-Lucius shakes his head fervently.-
Lucius: No! Absolutely not! I am putting my foot down and using my ultimate supreme leadership powers of awesomeness to veto that idea.
Maul: ~That's not a thing you can do.~
Lucius: Well, it is now, because I'm the leader and I make the rules. Therefore, I say that everybody has to be awake at this moment in time, nocturnal wild animal or not.
Crewe: You suuuuuck. Maul, let's mutiny.
Lucius: Didn't I already explain why that would be a bad idea?
Maul: ~I want an election.~
Lucius: What? No! I'm not running a democracy here! Arceus, why did I ever think that starting an evil team with you two would be a good idea? You'd be terrible minions.
-Crewe jabs him in the ribs-
Crewe: I was cool wit you bein' leader till you made me not sleep. You better revise your platform b'fore th'election, fruitcake.
Lucius: There's not going to be an election! How many times do I have to explain this? Autocracies don't have elections! That's the entire point of an autocracy! I'm like a king! You don't vote for kings!
Maul: ~Help, help, I'm being oppressed.~
Lucius: Oh, now don't you start.
Crewe: But without elections, th'only way to get rid of you is t'kill you or send y'into exile, so...
Lucius: And we've already discussed why doing either of those things would be a very bad idea. So you're stuck with me.
Maul: ~Or I could just do this.~
-There is a blip and suddenly Lucius is gone.-
Maul: ~Victory for democracy.~
-with no Lucius to support her, Crewe collapses back onto the ground-
Crewe: Ooof!
-she then starts laughing-
Crewe: G'work, Maul.
Maul: ~Ssh. It's bedtime.~
-He waves a hand in an attempt to put Crewe to sleep.-
-there is no resistance here. Crewe promptly falls asleep-
-Several hours (or possibly many weeks) later, Crewe may find herself being shaken awake by a very wet and sodden Lucius.-
Lucius: Naptime's over, Sleeping Beauty.
WAAPT@tropi.us Legacy → WAAPT: In-Universe → The (Non-canon) Adventures of Shieldmaiden and the Auric Avenger
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