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--V.S.
WAAPT@tropi.us Legacy → WAAPT: In-Universe → The (Non-canon) Adventures of Shieldmaiden and the Auric Avenger
Shieldmaiden: Yeah, yeah. Aye aye, cap'n.
-she throws up a shield to block the Thunder Wave, then activates the pistons in her boots to fling herself at the Falcon and his Xatu-
-The Red Falcon stumbles, staggers and falls as Shieldmaiden goes barging towards him, and ends up collapsing next to her on the balcony. His Xatu makes another attempt to strike Shieldmaiden, this time with a Shadow Ball.-
Xatu: <You know, this'd be a lot easier for the both of us if you'd just fall down and say I killed you.>
-Shieldmaiden plants a boot on the Falcon's chest and throws up another shield to block the Shadow Ball-
Shieldmaiden: I could say the same to you!
-she raises her arm cannon and fires pellets at the Xatu-
-The Xatu is promptly knocked out cold by Shieldmaiden's pellets.-
The Red Falcon: ...I suppose now would be a rather poor time to propose a cessation of hostilities?
-Shieldmaiden grabs the Falcon by the front of his shirt and yanks him to his feet, slamming him against the wall and putting her claws to his throat-
Shieldmaiden: How about this for a proposal, birdbrain? You tell me where my friend's Lucario is, and I consider not killing you.
The Auric Avenger: Or we could just knock him out and hand him over to the authorities without killing him now that we've got everything we need from him.
-This suggestion comes from somewhere behind Shieldmaiden.-
The Auric Avenger: Oh, and birdbrain? Next time you try to mastermind a hostage situation, make sure that you aren't keeping the hostages and the people trying to rescue them in the same room.
Kirk: <Yeah, you're really not as smart as you think you are...>
The Auric Avenger: Of course, this is all just hypotheticals, as there's not going to be a next time.
The Red Falcon: How awfully hypocritical of you both... you condemn my methods when both of you are willing to use lethal force and more in your pursuit of revenge and-
The Auric Avenger: Yeah, yeah, not so different, we're the real villains here, blah blah blah. Heard it before, and it never gets any less irritating each time. Care to do the honours, Shieldmaiden?
Shieldmaiden: Nighty-night, birdbrain.
-she sets her claws against his stomach and turns on the electricity-
-The Auric Avenger chuckles as the Red Falcon gives an undignified screech of pain and collapses to the floor, writhing.-
The Auric Avenger: Heh. Nice touch. I need to get me something similar one of these days. Anyway, how about I take care of the complicated legal stuff whilst you go play with rocks or whatever it is that wild animals do in their spare time?
-Shieldmaiden turns off the taser, then slaps the oval on her chest piece to retract her claws and extend her cape. She nudges the Falcon with her foot-
Shieldmaiden: Non-lethal. Just like I promised.
-she steps aside, gesturing to the prone Falcon-
Shieldmaiden: Whatever you say, Fido. I'll go be all brooding and mysterious. See you at the room later, 'kay?
-she heads for the door-
-Several hours later, Lucius pushes open the door to his and Crewe's room, a can of Soda Pop in his hand and a grin plastered across his face.-
Lucius: Well, the day is done, the city is indebted to us, and birdbrain won't be leaving the holding cells until he's old enough to claim a pension. I'd say this calls for a celebration.
-Crewe is curled up on the bed, watching TV while munching popcorn. She throws her hands up, scattering popcorn across the bed-
Crewe: Huzzah! Let's order pizza.
-Lucius smirks as he pulls out his Pokegear and starts sending a message to room service.-
Lucius: So we're going to celebrate by doing the same thing we do every other night, then?
Crewe: If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?
-she scooches over and brushes some popcorn kernels off the bed-
Crewe: C'mon, come sit.
-Lucius plonks himself down on the bed next to Crewe, picking one of the popcorn kernels off of the bed and popping it into his mouth.-
Lucius: You really are a creature of habit, aren't you?
-Crewe settles herself in beside him-
Crewe: You got a problem with that, fruitcake?
-Lucius props a pillow up against the headboard and leans back.-
Lucius: Well, you are my partner. We're going to have to get used to living with each other after a while. And as much as I love the idea of pizza all day, every day, it'd be difficult for people to take us seriously as vigilantes if we had to roll to every crime scene.
Crewe: Fiiiiine, we can put vegetables on our pizza.
-she grins at him-
-Lucius stares at Crewe in mock horror.-
Lucius: You want to put vegetables on our pizza? You're more monstrous than most of the villains we've fought against.
-Crewe raises an eyebrow-
Crewe: Says the vegetarian? Fine, if it makes you feel better, we can put vegetables next to the pizza.
-Lucius folds his arms.-
Lucius: Vegetarians can eat things other than vegetables, you know. Quit being... vegetarianist.
Crewe: I thought you wanted us to eat more vegetables! There is just no pleasing you, is there?
-she turns to face him and crosses her arms-
Crewe: Okay, fruitcake, what would you have us eat?
Lucius: ...How about noodles? Noodles are good for you, right?
Crewe: I haven't the slightest idea. All I know is that cake is bad for you and vegetables are good for you even though the world would be a waaaay better place if it was reversed.
-Lucius gives a wistful sigh.-
Lucius: Man, I would totally get behind a team with that philosophy. All the other teams are like "we're going to rewrite reality to create a world without emotion" or "we're going to rewrite reality to turn everybody into grey goo" or something like that. If there was a team that came out and said "we're going to rewrite reality to make cake good for you" I would sign up with them in a heartbeat.
Crewe: Oh my gosh, yes. Lucius, let's start a team to petition Arceus or whoever to make cake good for you.
WAAPT@tropi.us Legacy → WAAPT: In-Universe → The (Non-canon) Adventures of Shieldmaiden and the Auric Avenger
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